Haha, that was a good one too, but the Chuck norris line got me because of this:
1. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds
>till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
>2. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
>3. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
>information he wants.
>4. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay,but
>because he has run out of women.
>5. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
>6. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
>decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
>grew a beard.
>7. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
>unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
>finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul
>back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
>should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
>the month.
>8. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
>9. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the
>JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
>beard,deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
>10. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
>11. Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school
>football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees
>to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused
>kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every
>girl in the stadium.
>12. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
>"beard." Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wise men,
>jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
>Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after, all three died of roundhouse
>kick related deaths.
>13. To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Chuck Norris smoked 15
>cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds
>of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes.
>14. It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a
>pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.
>15. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the
>speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she
>was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
>16. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name was "Charles". Chuck
>Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
>17. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
>Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris -robot in disguise," and starred
>Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing
>Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much
>awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
>18. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling "Bang!"
>19. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera
>or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no
>wagon, since he carries the oxen, axles, and buffalo meat on his back. He
>always makes it to Oregon before you.
>20. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya!"
>21. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with
>five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to
>limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt
