Checking in . . .

[Rodger Tellefson]

Today marks the one year passing of my wife of 39.5 yrs. I am doing O.K. Going to present miniature urns to my grandkids on Saturday afternoon on the Point Reyes beach which will be a potluck with friends & family.



Also, I am in an exclusive relationship, and she asked me. I feel that this is one of the only places that I can talk about this. She is a wonderful lady to which I am truely grateful.

 

[Kyle Maguire]

Glad to hear your doing Good, but sorry for your loss i can only imagine how hard it is. We are always here for ya and i wish you the Greatest of luck in the future pal.... Keep Trac'n

 

[Richard L]

Rodger,

I know how you feel. My wife of 41 years died 5 years ago on Sep 13th.



About 11 months ago I met a wonderful lady, but she lives about 125 miles away. We have been seeing each other nearly every weekend, and we have discussed marriage and things are moving in that direction. We are going to Jamaica together tomorrow morning for a wonderful get-away. She is a Mortgage Underwriter for Chase Bank and they have been extremely busy (60 hours a week) trying to review all the refinance requests to prevent more foreclosures, and really needs a little time away from the office.



You will never forget your late wife, but the pain gradually fades with time. I found that getting on with my life, and dating has really given me my life back. When you find that special person, you will know it, and you will feel alive again.



...Rich

 

[Rodger Tellefson]

Thank You, Kyle . . . I appreciate your support.



Richard,



I wish you only the best. Jamaica sounds like a wonderful get-away. Have good trip.



I know that I will never forget my late wife; she will always be in my heart. Thank you so very much for your kinkd words & understanding.



-Rodger

 

[EddieS'04]

Rodger & Rich,



May you both be blessed, in your new relationships.

I must be doing something wrong, since my divorce. Any new relationships end about as soon as they start....LOL.

Odd thing is. My ex keeps finding exscuses, to come around. I think she is wishing she hadnt' walked out. My ex m-inlaw has told me some things my ex doesnt know that I know. Funny thing is my ex m-inlaw has no problem if we do get together.



She told me not to ask, though. She told me let Cathy ask me and apologize for walking out. Before even considering it. She knows that her daughter was playing head games.Trying to change me. I will always care about her. I just dont have my emotions tied up in her anymore.

I learned one more lesson of life. To never ever marry a school teacher again. IMO they are a different breed. They bring their educators controling attitude home with them. That attitude, wont work on adults...got tired of being treated like a student.:bwahaha:

I ended 2new relationships. Once I found out they were teachers...:bwahaha:



I have noticed on acouple of social singles meeting sites. About 50% of the divorcee's are teachers or retired teachers..Hmmm!

 

[Richard L]

Rodger,

I got your email, thanks! Sorry I have not replied, but I got your email on my way to Jamaica. I just got home this morning. I will give you a buzz (call) later...probably this weekend, if that works OK for you?



Eddie,

I can understand a lot of your frustration. I found that meeting divorced women online did not work well for me either. Most are divorced because they got into a bad relationship and seem to have a chip on their shoulder. I am not commenting on who was wrong in their relationships, because I know many men can be womanizers, controlling, abusers, etc and I suspect most women were right to get out of that relationship/environment.



I do not seem to deal well with woman who do not understand a long-term (41 year) happy relationship. Many divorced women are shallow and tend to only look for the flash-in-the-pan type relationships. I was even more surprised at that number of women who where only interested in sex and not a real relationship...I'm talking about divorced women who wanted to jump into bed on the second date and were really not interested in any kind of long term relationship, even though that's what they initially claimed they were looking for???



...Rich

 

[EddieS'04]

Rich,

Im with you in thought. At this age I deffinitly want a committed relationship. Not to mean you dont go and have fun. Dont become couch potatoes. But the "Whoopee" days are over. My parents still took 3000mile vacations every year. Until Mom's heart condition, worsened.



My parents had 62yrs when dad passed. They had their issues, but settled them in quiet.

So I suppose you tend to desire what you know.

 

[Richard L]

Eddie,

To be completely fair, many/most Divorced women often have trust issues because of their experience with their previous marriage. They are looking for the fun and excitement they did not have in their previous marriage... They enjoy the attention and the fact that they have the freedom to be as picky as they want to be. They become Serial-Daters who only want the fun with no commitments. Remember the old saying, "Why buy the cow if you get the milk free"....That used to be something the guys would say, now it's the women...:grin:



I have dated some divorced women for nearly a year, but I always felt I was never trusted completely. To them I was a fun guy to date who wanted to go places and do things, but only as long as they were in control of the situation and free to keep looking and dating other guys. Kind of makes you fell like you are just keeping the seat warm for the next guy..:banghead:



It just takes a lot more time to find the right woman than I had ever imagined it would take.



....Rich

 

[EddieS'04]

Rich,

Words from my therapist, when my wife walked away after 20 yrs.

She told me it will be harder at my age. To find that commited woman. To not let the rejection become fear of rejection. And worry if there is something wrong with me.

Just continue to be a good man. That some woman would want. Someday it will happen.

Good advice, imo.....

 

[Richard L]

Eddie,

It does take time...a lot of time. It took me 4 years, but I think I have found the lady I have been looking for. Don't give up...it will happen eventually. In the mean time, just enjoy the journey....:grin:



...Rich

 

[Gavin Allan]

Interesting reading. I see some of my ex-wife in here.