childcare opinions

[Brett Hartwig]

:unsure:for all you parents out there- my wife and I are having a problem deciding what to do about childcare. Our twins turn 2 in October at which time we will be losing our part-time babysitter(sister in law) because she is getting another job. We decided to enroll them in childcare at a local church called Open Bible church. In order to reserve 2 spots we have to pay full-time rates ($160 per week). The problem- we don't know whether we should take them there as much as possible to get use of all our money we are paying or only use them when we need them. I am a firefighter and have 48 hours off in between shifts, so I am home alot. I hate the idea of having Open Bible watch them during the day, when I am sitting at home twidling my thumbs. They would get a better structured program there but it feels like we are pushing our kids off on somebody else to raise just because we are paying for it. Long post but could use some opinions. thanks guys

 

[Dingo]

The important thing is for the kids to have structure in their lives. If you're going to take them there during the day, you need to take them there every day. They need to have a routine and they'll meet friends there and start their social development.

 

[Thomas Rogers]

Freeport,



At two years of age your kids are only going to be learning social interaction skills (as Dingo said) and getting used to seperation. You didn't say how many hours per day we are talking, or if the $160/week is total, or per child, so I can't really get a good feel for the total cost, and cost per hour, per kid. However, the money doesn't sound like too much, regardless, considering a full week and two toddlers.



The money will ultimately be a "sunk cost" which you have to budget for. Once you have budgeted for it (you have budgeted for it, right?) then if you take the kids out of school an afternoon now and then because you want to spend more time with them, and you have the time, then I don't see that disrupting them too much, nor do I see it as the kind of thing that should make you think you are no longer getting your monies worth.



I say use the extra time to help you wife with housework, laundry, shopping, and for manly projects around the house. The whole house will run smoother for it.



I did ask about budgeting. Just make sure you aren't more money ahead if your wife were to stay home, or if she were to stay home and take on a child to care for herself in your home. Many people who pay for two in childcare so that the wife can work simply do so to pay the childcare. Yes, some "have to" have a working wife, especially if she is the one bringing home health coverage, but as a firefighter, I would hope that is not the case in your house.



Good luck.



TJR

 

[Brett Hartwig]

I believe the cost was $82 per week, per child. My wife and I were just talking about the replies so far this morning. Very helpful. I suppose it would also help if I got a part time job to help with money and fill up some hours in the afternoon when they are away. Like I said, I know it is a good thing as far as development and all. I just don't want to be sitting at home, wanting to go for a walk on a nice day with them, and I can't because they are not home.

 

[Johnny O]

Just make sure you aren't more money ahead if your wife were to stay home, or if she were to stay home and take on a child to care for herself in your home. Many people who pay for two in childcare so that the wife can work simply do so to pay the childcare. Yes, some "have to" have a working wife, especially if she is the one bringing home health coverage, but as a firefighter, I would hope that is not the case in your house.

I can't add anything to what TJR said. My (now ex-) wife worked full-time until our second child, at which point she went part-time because what she made didn't pay for day care for two. After a while she quit altogether and babysat another kid for about $80 a week as I recall.

 

[Scott Doughtie]

LOL...$82/wk for a 2 y/o is a steal compared to what I have been paying for my son to be in daycare/school. It started at $185/wk as a newborn, which was dirt cheap for Atlanta, and has declined each year. Regardless of that, I have noticed that my son is more socially adept, more inquisitive, and more well behaved compared to some of the stay-at-home children that I know. The exceptions are children of former teachers. My son is almost 4 y/o and he will be going into the Georgia state funded, via the Lottery, Pre-K program this fall, which will be free.

 

[Kevin Palmer]

How about splitting it up a bit.



This will allow you to have a consistent relationship with them on 1/2 of your days off as well as some learning structure that you feel they would get more of while at the church..



This option will also allow you to do things that need done on the days they are at the church.



Bottom line, no matter what you do, you all need to be as happy as you can be. That will determine what you do in the end...

 

[Thomas Rogers]

Regarding costs...



Each of our three children attended pre-k type programs, each for two years. Typically only 4 days a week, for 3 or 4 hours. The cost was approximately $325/month, per kid. We sent them ONLY for the learning and social interaction. My wife was a stay at-home mom for each of the last two, and she tried to work for our first child. For him, we started out paying $135/week for a lady to watch him in her home. We were in downstate NY and good childcare was very hard to find. This was circa 1994, and it was a lot at the time. It all became too much, and when our 2nd was on the way, my wife stopped working.



Last year, so that my wife could work full-time as a teacher's aide in order to gain the experience needed (she is going back to school, 3rd year in early childhood education), we sent our daughter to a full-day, paid, private Kindergarten. It was the cheapest solution for us, and it was the same hours (and same school) that my wife was working. We paid almost $6K/yr for a full-day program. We did this because the public school was only 1/2 day.



It actually COST us quite a bit of money for my wife to work last year.



TJR

 

[A1cntrler]

We were in a similar situation last fall when I was medically discharged from the Navy. I had gone out to look for work and interviewed a few places, but found out that I would have been working to cover the childcare expenses. Didn't make much sense. So we scaled back on our luxiries (no more HBO/Skinememax/Starz, etc, less eating out) and I stayed home with my 4 year old. He will be starting preschool at our church the end of this month. 5 days a week from 12 noon until 3 pm. $235 monthly. He has been goign to a school type envrionment for a couple of years now though, but only a couple of days per week. That was costing us $190 a month. Grandma is here in the area now, and she will be helping out with the duites, so I will be going back to work part time to pay for his school (plus the wife just competed her doctorate, so that bill will be coming as well...). I'm looking forward to going back to work too. My friends were envious that I got to stay at home every day. It isn't all milk and cookies.... I did all the household chores (cook/clean/shop/laundry/you name it I did it) Ready to go back out and work..



Since you will be paying for Full time, I say make the best use of the time. If you are off and the kids are at daycare, use that time to go out and run errands. I love my son, but find it so much nicer/easier to go to Lowes/Home Depot without him. In fact anuwhere I can go and not have to strap him in and out of his carseat is good. If you both happen to be off, go see a movie or spend some time alone... You paid for it, use it. You aren't bad parents for having some time to yourselves.

 

[Paul Maurer 2]

I agree with most of the above- it will help if you can maintain a regular, consistent schedule of day care time and time with you. I would not recommend getting a second job if its not a must- time with your kids will be invaluable. At $82/week each, your cost is extremely reasonable and getting your moneys worth shouldn't be a concern. My sons are 2 and 4, and the little guy goes to a Co-op( all the moms help out) pre school 3 days/wk, and he gets very excited when we ask him to get his shoes in preparation. My older son benefited immensely from his year in a Catholic pre-K 3- improved communication and sociability are apparent. We are keeping him there @$500/month, even though he could attend public school for free, due to his friends and familiarity. He also went to an exclusive summer camp in Ft. Lauderdale last month- expensive @ $1000/month, but he quickly learned valuable phrases like "NO, I won't" and "you can't spank me", and he can mix a proper martini now.:lol:

 

[Brett Hartwig]

all for $1000 huh? very nice

 

[CountyMounty]

freeport you are in a similar situation as my wife and I, though it has changed somewhat recently. My wife took a full 6 months off from work when our son was born, then started back part time, but it got to the point where it was either she went back to work full time or we made some serious changes in our lifestyle (she has a very good paying job and great chances of "moving up") .



Like you I work in public saftey and do not work the typical 9 to 5, normally it is 2 days on 2 days off with unpredictable overtime. At first, since I worked mostly night shifts and was home during the day, we were trying to make it work with "babysitter" and grandparents here and there with me picking up a lot of the time during the week. Having to catch up on sleep and other things on my weekends off left very little family time. It just wasn't working out I was getting way behind on sleep and house work still and most importantly the lack of real family time so we decided to try daycare.



To send our son to what we felt was the best place we too had to pay full price for the child care but didn't want to utilize it everyday. After some discussion we decided that we would just send him 3 days a week and I would watch him 2days and if anything came up he would go another day. It worked out fairly well and then we lucked out and after a little while the daycare decided to allow us to pay a reduced rate for the 3 days and then a flat daily fee if we had to bring him another day. We were so lucky for that as obviously they are losing out a bit because they could easily fill that spot with a full time child.



If your like us, or any parent for that matter, it is very easy to get behind on house work and chores and tasks back up. Its amazing how infrequently my ST gets washed and waxed now compared to what it used to be or how the lawn goes unmowed but of cours its all good because nothing beats being a daddy. Personally I would suggest, as another has, that you use some of that time to get things done around the house, get some rest, and have a little you time and of course spend some time with your children as well. As mentioned once you budget for it your not changing anything, financially, by keeping them home for a day or two a week, yes the daycare is making out good but its not costing you more.



By the way all of our uneasiness and guilt about sending our son to daycare quickly disappeared as he has a wonderful time there and they do some really great things there with the kids. Also no we have more family time during the evenings and weekends I am off because I am getting sleep and chores done during the week.



Good Luck