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Nelson Atwell

Nelson Atwell

Well-Known Member
Joined
Oct 16, 2003
Messages
5,636
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Location
Bydgoszcz, Poland
Today started good, because I was promoted to MSgt.



It ended bad, because I was notified that I have orders to Poland and have to be there by 10 Jan 07. My ex won't let me take my daughter there with me, and I don't think the bank will let me take my new car (bought four days ago) to Poland either. :blink:
 
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Wow...........that's a lot for a guy to digest in one day. On the bright side, your car will still be new when you get back Stateside and the ex will be old.

Does that help at all??:D
 
So...you didn't expect to be reassigned and how much longer are you going to serve?
 
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E-8 would be sweet, but E-7 is still good enough. :)



Gerry, the ex is 5 years younger than me, but she does look really old. :D
 
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Nelson, first, congrats, very nice milestone to reach...



Second, how many years do you have in?



Third, how about a hardship due to your daughter and the issue with your ex? Is there a policy out there for this type of an issue???
 
Congrats, Nelson.



I had a similar situation with my daughter/ex-wife when I got orders for Germany. I made a gentle suggestion to my ex that she might want to let my daughter join me later and stay for a school year. I pointed out that my daughter would benefit culturally from the experience. And then I just let it simmer with the ex for awhile without really pushing it. The ex later agreed to it later without a fight, but then again we had a fairly non-acrimonious post-divorce relationship. I was able to pick up my daughter for my last year in Germany, and then again later when I got stationed in England.



Good luck!
 
Nelson, you have 18 years in and got promoted today, you need 2 years to retire and have to have the stripe on for 2 years to get retirement in new grade. If you current enlistment goes past the 2 years needed, can't you turn down the orders and choose to retire in 2 years at your current station?? i've been retired for 3 years and i thought that is how the regulation was written. i could be wrong... good luck....



congrads on the MSgt Stripe...



troy

 
Troy,



I'll check on that. I reach 19 years in December. I just reenlisted up until 2012. What I've been told is that if I turn it down I have six months to get out. However, I did sign a letter of intent to spend two more years in. I don't know how long the assignment is for.



I spoke with my ex-wife and daughter a lot tonight. My daughter's first option is that she wants to go with me. I am not sure yet whether this is an accompanied tour or that they even have a DoDDS school set up, since this location is brand new as of June. My daughter said she would rather finish high school in a Polish-speaking school than leave me.



Her second option is that she wants to stay in her current school, but her mom would move to Oklahoma from Kentucky. I sweetened the deal for my ex by offering to let her live in my home while I'm gone rent-free in lieu of child support.



The last resort is that my daughter would move back to her mom's.



The vehicle is the least of my worries, but if neccessary, I may be able to borrow the money from my brother to pay off the loan and then take the car. Otherwise, I could wind up string the car in my garage until my daughter is old enough to drive.



It's a lot to think about...
 
Nelson,

May not be of much help for your post questions, but I Thank You, Sincerely, and

all others in your situation, for your service to this country!

God Bless, and good luck in your descisions...:)
 
Nelson,



That promotion might not have been worth it. There is more to life then money.





Tom
 
Very true Tom, but then I didn't join the military to get rich. My priorities are God, country, and family -- usually in that order.



It appears my ex may move to Oklahoma. That may be a blessing in disguise. My daughter and her mom need to rebuild their relationship, and perhaps a new setting will help with that.
 
My priorities are God, country, and family -- usually in that order.
Click to expand...



Wouldn't you think it should be... "My priorities are God, family, and country"? When the government rewards their soldiers that served in the military with that fine VA health care compared to your daughter at your side taking care of you until your last breath, I can't see how anyone can put their country ahead of your family.



Then again, that is just me. Not saying you are wrong or anything. If I were in your shoes, I would not have even considered that promotion and worked towards the job God gave me was raising my kid to be a productive adult. Children are gifts from god.





Tom
 
Nelson-keep in mind most people don't ever change they just change their environment. Meaning if your X has always treated you and or your daugther the same way moving to another state may or may not change her attitude.
 
Nelson, congrats on your promotion and your assignment. welcome to the SNCO corps.



First, with the 7 day option, if you turn down the assignment, you are correct that you have to request separation.



Second, the car. See if you can refinance it with the bank/CU on base. All banks and CU on base have contracts that specify what services they must provide and limitations they may impose. They will provide you with a letter stating you may ship the vehicle OCONUS. I had to do the same thing when I went to Germany.



Third. Find out the tour length first thing. Remember, if it is a short, as an E7 you still get to apply for follow on or homebasing - no guarantees of course, but an option.



And last, your daughter. When you gained custody a couple years ago (I remember it) what rights did your Ex give up? Did you have lawyers involved to "transfer" custody to you? Did she waive all her rights?? You may need to spend a few more $$s for more lawyers. But if it is a remote tour, then it is a moot point.



If you need any entitlement advice, with regard to your pay and overseas housing, COLA, etc, drop me an email.



Good luck Buddy.



Grump
 

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