O.T. Humor: Idiot Sighting

[Rodger Tellefson]

IDIOT SIGHTING: Hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a large enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two."



We haven't used Sears repair since.



IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."



From Kingman, KS



IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.



From Kansas City!



IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."



Happened in Birmingham, Ala.



IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"



She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS



IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for a dear coworker: She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.



This was at Texas Instruments.



IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.



A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office.



IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "Its open!" His reply, "I know - I already got that side."



This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

 

[Fred]

LOL!!!!!!! :lol:

 

[Richard Kolb]

Best one that happened to me:



At Walmart, I had put a divider on the belt between my stuff and the person behind me. When the lady was done scanning my stuff she picked up the divider, tried to scan it, looked for a UPC, and then finally looked for a sticker. She says to me 'I can't find the price for this, I'll have to do a price check' at which point I said nevermind, I don't want it. Then she said ok and put it back where they usually go.



Almost as good as the taco bell lady who wouldn't take a susan b. anthony dollar because she said it was fake. Like I have time to make fake coins.

 

[Robert Stanton]

A friend of mine used to work at a newspaper at night. People sometimes call the paper to report strange occurances that go something like this:



Caller: "I'd like to report a UFO."

Paper: "Oh? What did it look like?"

Caller: "It's dark out, but it had some bright lights, with a couple of flashing ones."

Paper: "When did you see it?"

Caller: "Just now!"

Paper: "Where did you see it?"

Caller: "In the sky to the south."

Paper: "Over the airport, maybe?"

Caller: ..... *click*



He said they'd get calls like this maybe once a month.

 

[Gavin Allan]

At my last job, we used to take the little phone message slips and fill them out for the co-worker to call "Mr. Lyon" and then put down the number of the zoo for them to call back.

 

[Collin Lyon]

Ha ha ha Gavin -- I hear that "Mr. Lyon" joke a lot . . .

 

[EddieS'04]

:lol:

 

[Johnny O]

True stories from the life of JohnnyO:



I used to work in the supply dept of a large hospital. A new nurse aide came to the window and asked for a "Bippler Catheter". :huh: The people out front were looking all over for a bippler catheter, came back to me in the stockroom area since I'd worked there for a long time and knew all the stuff. I thought for a minute, said "Here, take this Bi-polar cath out to her". That was it.

Well, if you worked in healthcare it would be funny.



We were on vacation in FL, went to a rib place. No condiments on the table. Dinner arrives, I ask "Do you have any barbecue sauce?" Waitress gives me an apologetic look and says "No, but we do have B B Q sauce." :blink:

 

[Darrel Chaney01]

I know someone who sent his wife to get macaroni seeds. Every place she went they would tell her that they didn't have any. At the sixth place she went to a guy finally told her, "lady they don't make macaroni seeds".

 

[Darrel Chaney01]

One other thing. No matter how well you you may know a guy named Jack and you see him at the airport, never ever yell out "Hi Jack"! :lol:

 

[Gary DiPietroSr]

When in San Francisco at a restaurant, I handed the waiter my American Express card to which he replied, " Do have anything smaller? " I said yeah, my sears card is a little smaller.

 

[EddieS'04]

Years ago there was a bar here in houston, that had a reputation as a hangout for wives. Needless to say this a bar for cheaters. One day someone left a memo with a phone number for this supervisor to call his wife. When he called the phone was naturally answered with the bars name. He got po'ed and left work. The next day he was irritated and trying to find out where the memo came from. Cruel but funny..

 

[Nelson Atwell]

I used to work in a grocery store before I joined the military. One day a customer came to the register with a toilet plunger, among other things. While I was ringing up his order, he amused himself by trying to stick the plunger to the counter. On his last attempt, he struck the counter at an angle and the plunger bounced off the counter and came close to hitting me in the head. He exclaimed, "Wow! These things can be dangerous!" I replied, "Yes...in the wrong hands."



At a different store I worked at, we had a very open gay man working as a cashier. My boss and I were discussing some girl that had just left, and Larry stated, "Man! I don't know how you guys can go walking around with your things smelling like fish." I looked at him and said, "It is better than the alternative." He got this stunned look on his face, turned and walked away. My boss must have laughed for 5 minutes afterwards.



Whenever someone asks me "How's life?" I always reply with, "It's better than the alternative." It is a multi-purpose statement. :lol:

 

[Kevin Palmer]

Darrel, although I can not go into details.

Something MUCH like that happened to me while I was on a plane.



If you know what I do for a living, you would better understand why it is such an ironic thing.



It could have turned off very bad for the guy, but,,,, it ended ok and he was VERY sorry... LOL

 

[FlipTrac_511]

This'll probably induce yawns but oh well. I'm a WW2 buff and I thought it very funny when I was told that someone had said: "The Nazis were German?".



And here's a crank call for office supply stores: Ask for a shredder that can shred in color. You'll be suprised at the answers.

 

[Johnny O]

"Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? NOOOOO."

"Germans?"

"Forget it, he's rolling."



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