Gary DiPietroSr
Well-Known Member
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,
75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes
one reaction to take over four days to complete, even if it would
normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay
but, instead, undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration; this hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as the
Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium." Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,
75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.
However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes
one reaction to take over four days to complete, even if it would
normally take less than a second.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay
but, instead, undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming
isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration; this hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as the
Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
