Todays funny

[EddieS'04]

Bob walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was just coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building about to jump.





The blonde looks at Bob and says, "Do you think he'll jump?"



Bob says, "You know, I bet he will."



The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."



Bob placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"



Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Bob.



"Fair is fair," she says. "Here's your money."



Bob replies, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."



The blonde replies, "I saw that too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

 

[Robert Caffyn]

Oh that is too funny! At least Bob wasn't the butt of any jokes......Bob

 

[swshawaii]

That's :rofl: Eddie! Good one!

 

[H D]

Hope he kept the money after that.

 

[Gavin Allan]

More blonde jokes!



FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang

at 2 in the morning. The very blonde wife picked up the phone,

listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles

from here!' and hung up.

The husband said, 'Who was that?'



The wife answered, 'I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'



SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the

sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror

and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'



The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'



So, the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'



THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and

buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the

door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really

angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is

overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.



The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'

The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'



FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, ... I know 'em all.'



A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?'

The blonde replies,'Oh, that's easy .. it's W.'



FIFTH DEGREE

Q: What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

A: 'Is it mine?'



SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US

Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what

Roe vs. Wade was about.



Bambi pondered the question; then, finally, said, 'That was the decision

George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.'



SEVENTH DEGREE

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house

ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and

reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio,

and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.



As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde

ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then

sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come

home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do

they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!'