Gavin Allan
Well-Known Member
Subject: Why athletes don't have regular jobs
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: I wan all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Skins say: I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl, Matt Millen of the Raiders said: To win, Id run over Joes Mom, too.
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: Nobody
in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes. (Now, that is beautiful!)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: You guys line up alphabetically by height And, You guys pair up in groups of three,
and then line up in a circle.
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen
of heavyweight Andrew Golota: He's a guy who gets up at six oclock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: My sister's expecting a baby, and I dont know if Im going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: I asked him, Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy? He said, Coach, I dont know and I don't care.
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four Fs and one D: Son, looks to me like youre spending too much time on one subject.
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: I can go to my left or rightI am amphibious.
15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: Because she is too darn ugly to kiss good-bye.
AND..........that these are the guys who earn millions a year.
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: I wan all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Skins say: I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl, Matt Millen of the Raiders said: To win, Id run over Joes Mom, too.
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: Nobody
in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes. (Now, that is beautiful!)
7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: You guys line up alphabetically by height And, You guys pair up in groups of three,
and then line up in a circle.
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton .
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen
of heavyweight Andrew Golota: He's a guy who gets up at six oclock in the morning, regardless of what time it is.
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: My sister's expecting a baby, and I dont know if Im going to be an uncle or an aunt.
(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: I asked him, Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy? He said, Coach, I dont know and I don't care.
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four Fs and one D: Son, looks to me like youre spending too much time on one subject.
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: I can go to my left or rightI am amphibious.
15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: Because she is too darn ugly to kiss good-bye.
AND..........that these are the guys who earn millions a year.
