Actual Police Comments

[Gavin Allan]

These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:



#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the one you just went through."



#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll

stretch after you wear them a while."



# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth

certificate a worthless document."



#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."



#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second?

Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."



#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I

can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"



#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't

think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"



#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do

that again or I'll give you another ticket."



#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are

drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"



#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you

go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."



#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."



#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."



#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"



#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're

allowed to write as many tickets as we can."



#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal

friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."



The envelope please.....................



AND THE WINNER IS....



#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?

You're right, we don't. Sign here."

 

[Fred]

:lol: Funny!

 

[Rodger Tellefson]

:lol::lol: #1's a real zinger.

 

[Johnny O]

Back in the day, when I was young and foolish. True.

Officer -- "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Me -- "No sir, the speeometer was pointing on Drive."

Mama always said never lie to the police. :lol:

 

[Dallas Starr]

hahahaha

 

[Dreman]

That reminds me of the time I was pulled over and the officer also asked me "do you know how fast you were going". When I said no, he asked "why not, doesn't your speedometer work?" When I said "It just kind of disappears an inch or so past 120", he couldn't say anything for a minute. He finally wrote me up for an expired license plate (2 weeks expired). When I asked why (being young and stupid) he said he appreciated that I pulled over when I saw his lights, seeing as how he couldn't possibly have caught me in his 1980 Chevy Caprice cop car. I later found out they would only run about 105 flat out!

 

[Mark Grumpy]

sounds familiar. My one and only ticket 18 years back:



Do you knwo how fast you were going?

No Sir!

Why not?

Speedo only goes up to 85 Sir.

LOL - then that's what I'll write it for.

Thank you.



grump

 

[EddieS'04]

Years ago one morning, I got clocked doing 65 in a 35mph (side street no cars or houses). The cop asked me, did I have reason for the speed. Told him, if Iam late to work again, Iam in big trouble. He told me slow down and be safe, no ticket. That was the truth. I was a mess back then. Single and always a party...

 

[Chase Straw]

ive gotten 14 warnings and 1 ticket, which the city i got the ticket in wouldnt put it on my record if i paid an extra 25 bucks. sounded suspicious to me but i paid it any way

 

[Shelby Crane]

My best one:



On a little road in Loganville, GA where the speed limit was 35 in a heavy moded 1994 camero:



Do you know how fast you were going?

No sir, speedo only goes to 120.

<he laughed> I was sitting on the corner up there and clocked you at 90 in a 45 and 135 in a 35.

Oh.

Where are you doing?

Just bought the car, wanted to see what she would do.



More to the conversation but he let me go after following me home. Would never happen today.

 

[CountyMounty]

I have used #13 and something similar to #16, 6 and 1. Being a bit comical at times can help the situation. I often have people thanking me when I'm done giving them their ticket. Of course I often am writing them for less then it could be or one charge instead of two ect.



I'm sorry but anyone doing 135 in a 35 would never ever get a break they would go straight to jail. I have stopped a few people on one of our very rural highways (55 mph area) who were doing 100+ and were "testing out their car". It is where a lot of people go to do this. They got a warning or a minor speed ticket depending on the other factors (traffic, road conditions etc) I explain to them that there is an old air strip nearby that you can legally go test out your vehicle. It is not a public way and if you want to put just yourself in danger fell free.

 

[WXMotorSports DecalsPartsAccs]

LOL Yeah, fast enough where the radar detector is not accurate. j/k. I drive maybe 5 over the speed limit. I go to the track to speed. Nothing like 125-140 down the straight away.