AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

[Gavin Allan]

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.



Date: 05-27-2010, 1:43 a.m. EST.



I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.



First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head... isn't it?!



I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].



After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!



I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]



I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.



Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.



The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).



In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!



Thoughtfully yours,



Alex



P.S. Remember this motto .. An armed society makes for a more civil society!

 

[Kevin Lang]

Part of me agrees, but another part thinks this guy went too far with the retribution. Maybe it's just the tone of the post?



(And calling in threats is just plain stupid; it may not be your phone, but it was you saying it, so if they can find you, you go to jail. When emailing threats to the MD governor gets the cops dragging you off, I shudder to think of what happens when you actually call the FBI and allude threats towards the POTUS)



Admitting to these actions on the public forum is retarded. Inculpatory statements, don't make them! I don't believe that this dude realizes that he is admitting to several crimes, including mugging. Also, with doling out all of that gas and cash, did he steal enough to get a felony charge for the theft?

P.S. Remember this motto .. An armed society makes for a more civil society!

That expression is true, and I agree, though this guy changed the quote to suit. However, I see that the anti-gun side is going to go to town on this.





(Assuming the actions described in the post happened)

 

[Rick Kent]

snopes.com is your friend.



While the tale is heartening to me and would be "winning" even in Charlie Sheen's book, alas it is an urban legend.



But it does give me some ideas, if the opportunity presents. :grin:

 

[Thomas Rogers]

Great ad... A great example of the mythical "Internet Tough Guy" that reports to have done insanely over-the-top feats of manhood that many wish they had the balls to do, made even more infamous by the fact that many of the reportedly claimed acts of retribution actually hurt innocent people and/or put them in harms way.... a dynamic all too often setup by morons like the one supposedly reported.



I suspect the entire thing is a piece od pro-gun fiction. Not that being pro-gun is bad. It isn't.



TJR

 

[Bo Loo]

" I suspect the entire thing is a piece of pro-gun fiction"



http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp

 

[Thomas Rogers]

Thanks, Bo, Fkent. Am a big fan of snopes and refer to it often, but didn't need snopes for this one not to pass the internent BS smell test (passed in that it smelled of BS).



Still, somewhat entertaining, mosly because there are those that will chest-beat and yell "Yeah!" to such antics.



TJR

 

[H D]

True or not (obviously not), I wouldn't want this guy representing responsible gun owners.

 

[EddieS'04]

I wouldn't want this guy representing responsible gun owners.

Hugh, I totaly agree.

 

[Clay Campbell]

I think he could have left out the threats and it would have been ok. I have no problem with the gas thing. It will teach the guy a lesson and cause him to think twice before mugging someone else. I do think the gas thing was a bit dangerous though, because there are cameras at gas stations and the bad guy could call the credit card company to retract the charges and it might could eventually come back to the kimber toting fellow.

 

[Jerry Gerner 2]

It's not real, I've gotten jokes like this in the past from friends. it's been going around for a couple years now. Still funny and I agree with Hugh.

 

[Thomas Rogers]

Clay,



You are right about the risk.



Using someone else's credit card is, essentially, identity theft, actual theft and credit card fraud. Regardless of whether or not doing so teaches the would-be robber a lesson, I don't think it would be worth the risk and the cost to innocent people for that lesson. The risk is that you get caught doing it (authorities don't "play" with credit card fraud and identity theft...at all), and the cost to the innocent is the increased higher prices we all pay for credit cards because of fraud and theft.



I understand we are discussing this fictional account as if it were real, but that's part of what we should do, to point out the absurdity of such things lest people continue to think crap like this does happen, or worse SHOULD happen.



TJR

 

[Bob McDonald]

The most obvious inconsistency is when he claims he drew his weapon after he allowed mugger to take his jacket. If he had taken off his jacket, the mugger would has seen the shoulder holster and had an opportunity to attack while the is was in the awkward position of having the jacket half on and half off. The whole scenario is absurd.

 

[Richard L]

I think like others in as much as it is a bit of a fairytale. I don't think any criminal would crap his pants just because someone pulled a gun on him...and if he was driving a pimp-mobile, he probably would have had a gun himself...not a knife.



I also think he crossed the line when he made the would-be robber leave his shoes, wallet and cellphone...that actually turned him into an armed robber and the fact that he gave the guy's stuff away does not make it any better. It might have been better to have the guy throw his shoes, wallet and cellphone down a sewer.



I think the who story is a pile of BS. If he had the guys wallet, he would have known the guys name and could have simply reported the robbery attempt to the police and given them the wallet.



...Rich

 

[H D]

Here's the scenario I think is much more likely:



A guy and his girlfriend got held up and robbed by a thug carrying a knife. The victim felt insecure and inadequate as he felt his girlfriend no longer felt safe with him. He may or may not have crapped his pants, himself. He went over the scenario again and again in his mind and thought of ways it would have gone different if his true badass self had a gun in the situation. His shame and insecurities got the best of him as he sat looking at personal ads on craigslist (his girlfriend obviously left him). He typed out the scenario as he had rehearsed in his mind as a tuff guy carrying a big gun. He felt good for ten minutes.



Somebody copy, pasted, and emailed. Now it just won't die.

 

[Les]

Hugh, your scenario is more believable...

 

[H D]

Also, Savannah near the end of May would require that you DO NOT wear a jacket. I'm sitting here two hours from Savannah and it's a nice 90 degrees today, in mid-April. To say it was "not that cold" would be an extreme understatement, even off the waters of Savannah.

 

[Richard L]

I agree that the weather in Savannah, GA at the end of May would not require a jacket which makes the motivation for the robbery all wrong anyway. Also, he claims that he took the guys shoes, wallet and cellphone and threw the wallet back into the guys pimp-mobile. If they would-be robber was driving that car, and he knew it, why didn't he take the guys car keys also??



There are so many inconsistancies in his story that I think it was total fabrication. I don't think he was robbed, or that there ever was an attempt to rob him. He either had to much to smoke or drink, and was hallucinating, or he just likes to BS. Most likely it was just a tall tale he told his friends to pump up his stature.



...Rich

 

[Kevin Lang]

Hold on here, I missed part of this when I read this early this morning.

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants.

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

Is it just me, or does it really sound as though the "pimp mobile" does not belong to the original mugger? That dude wouldn't be "walking back to wherever you'd come from" if that were indeed his car, and there wouldn't have been a "wherever", as the guy writing this fantasy would have known that he came from his "pimp mobile parked at the curb".



The ownership of the "pimp mobile" by the original mugger isn't firmly established, so this dude fantasizes that he vandalized the car of someone else who was not involved in the mugging?! Wow.



Hugh's scenario sounds spot on. The poster clearly wants to believe that his extreme cowardice can be solved by a gun. Were this guy to actually be a mugging victim, and were armed, I predict that the mugger would stab him as he draws and take not only his money and dignity, but his firearm as well. The "9 yard rule" at work, and I doubt anyone who has this level of gun-fantasy would bother training with his firearm, he's probably in the "guns are a magic wand" camp.

 

[Bob McDonald]

I think the whole point of vandalizing the pimp mobile and the leaving wallet was so the would be mugger would get blamed for the damage. Therefore, it was not his vehicle. Not that it really matters with this BS story.

 

[Les]

The internet, where you can believe anything you read...:grin: