Frank Marano
Well-Known Member
This is a funny email I got. I normally dont share them but it is good:
I just wanted to thank you all for taking the time and trouble to send me email "forwards" over the past 12 months.
Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about dead cockroaches and mouse crap in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
Also, I now religiously scrub the top of every soft drink can I open to wash away all the rat crap and urine.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper, since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap, or reheat food in styrofoam containers in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a cologne sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by, UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone, because someone will ask me to dial anumber for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,Singapore and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers--but that will change once I receive my new replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus, since I now have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count, I have 363,214angels looking out for me.
I no longer have any money but that will change once I receive the $15,000.00 that Bill Gates and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail forwarding program.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a very large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 6 p.m. Minneapolis time tomorrow evening. I know for a fact that this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-laws second husband's cousin's beautician.
:lol::lol:
