More Saturday Humor

[TrainTrac]

Every Sailor is skilled in the fine art of telling sea stories...

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a

sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog for

Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is

in the backyard.



The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador

retriever sitting there.



"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he

says "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk

when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the

CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed

services... the United States Marines ... you know one of their nicknames

is "The Devil Dogs".

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country,

sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a

dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies

for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out

and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.

I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed

up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security,

wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of

medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just

retired."



The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he

wants for the dog.



"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling

him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that ****. Hell, he

was in the Navy!"

:lol:

 

[Jeffrey Travis]

Think of the questions you could ask a talking dog...



1. Is being able to, uh, lick down there, all it's cracked up to be?



2. Why do you go crazy right after a bath? (gave the dog a bath today, it is just funny as hell when you are done and they just take off running around the yard, squirming on their back scratching, running their face along the ground into a squirm)



3. Ever try it any way but doggie style?



4. Does dog food taste good?



5. Does the milkman/postman/UPS man ever ring twice when I am not home? (think into this one)



6. Do you want to throw the ball and have me go get it?



7. Does it suck not having opposable thumbs? (would make #6 difficult)



8. Do you really hate cats?



9. What do you really mean when you bark?



10. Who is your favorite character on tv/movies? Scooby? Brian from Family Guy? Other?



11. Do dogs really play poker? (think of the poster/mural)



Please continue the list....we have not an ongoing thread for awhile

 

[Darrel Chaney01]

What happens if you ever catch that car? :lol: