Michelle Widell
Active Member
I need some advice from parents of teenagers who may have gone through a similar situation...
My boyfriend has two daughters of whom has had custody of for the past 6 years since his divorce from his ex. They are 17 and 19, and he is having issues with the 17 year old, Shannon. Their mother is/was a meth addict and an alcoholic. Their dad (my boyfriend) is a paramedic who works 24 on/48 off, owns his own home in a very nice area, pays for most everything for both daughters, bends over backwards to help them, and has not received monetary support for their care from his ex for several years.
Shannon is an honor roll student, yet is one of the most obstinate people I have ever met. I know most teens think they know it all, but I've never met one who "shoves it in people's faces" that she is an honor roll student, knows how to speak 4 languages fluently, wants to go to Yale, etc. At first she was a bit intimidating, but now I find her downright arrogant. I bite my lip whenever I am around her, and try to act nice.
Last week she went to the family doc because of her mood swings and "PMS", and the doc wanted to prescribe Prozac.
Friday, they got into an arguement over her wanting to leave before doing her chores, and she walked out saying "I'm not cleaning YOUR house". (Her bedroom is beyond anything I can describe as to how filthy it is...) Her aunt was waiting in the driveway to take her to her mom's house (Shannon is grounded from using her car for other than work or school, because she was in an accident in Dec and is on 6 month court supervision.) My boyfriend told her she wasn't leaving, she got into the car, and her pulled her out and made her go into the house. After more arguing, she called the police and told them that he hit her.
Police came.. told her that her dad has the right to detain her (not allow her to leave). Despite her call to 911 that her dad hit her, they found no physical evidence. They took her to juvenille detention for evaluation by a counselor. He had to talk to the counselor too, who told him after speaking with his daughter "I wish I had a daughter like that". Shannon had lied about why her dad had custody of them, and portrayed herself to be a model child.
On top of that, upon his insisting that she have a drug test, she's admitted to the counselor that she's been smoking pot. (She already smokes cigarettes to "ease the stress", as she calls it. The police found the cigarettes in her purse and took them.)
She's made life hell at his house, and she wants to move out and live with her 19 year old boyfriend. She is insisting he has been physically abusing her and keeps telling him that she wants to go to court to be emancipated.
He doesn't know how to control his daughter.. I told him perhaps he should find a parent support group, and some friends of mine said that he should send her to a so-called "boot camp" for the summer.
(I think I'll enjoy my daughter's tender age of 10 for awhile.. sheeezzz!!!)
Advice...?
My boyfriend has two daughters of whom has had custody of for the past 6 years since his divorce from his ex. They are 17 and 19, and he is having issues with the 17 year old, Shannon. Their mother is/was a meth addict and an alcoholic. Their dad (my boyfriend) is a paramedic who works 24 on/48 off, owns his own home in a very nice area, pays for most everything for both daughters, bends over backwards to help them, and has not received monetary support for their care from his ex for several years.
Shannon is an honor roll student, yet is one of the most obstinate people I have ever met. I know most teens think they know it all, but I've never met one who "shoves it in people's faces" that she is an honor roll student, knows how to speak 4 languages fluently, wants to go to Yale, etc. At first she was a bit intimidating, but now I find her downright arrogant. I bite my lip whenever I am around her, and try to act nice.
Last week she went to the family doc because of her mood swings and "PMS", and the doc wanted to prescribe Prozac.
Friday, they got into an arguement over her wanting to leave before doing her chores, and she walked out saying "I'm not cleaning YOUR house". (Her bedroom is beyond anything I can describe as to how filthy it is...) Her aunt was waiting in the driveway to take her to her mom's house (Shannon is grounded from using her car for other than work or school, because she was in an accident in Dec and is on 6 month court supervision.) My boyfriend told her she wasn't leaving, she got into the car, and her pulled her out and made her go into the house. After more arguing, she called the police and told them that he hit her.
Police came.. told her that her dad has the right to detain her (not allow her to leave). Despite her call to 911 that her dad hit her, they found no physical evidence. They took her to juvenille detention for evaluation by a counselor. He had to talk to the counselor too, who told him after speaking with his daughter "I wish I had a daughter like that". Shannon had lied about why her dad had custody of them, and portrayed herself to be a model child.
On top of that, upon his insisting that she have a drug test, she's admitted to the counselor that she's been smoking pot. (She already smokes cigarettes to "ease the stress", as she calls it. The police found the cigarettes in her purse and took them.)
She's made life hell at his house, and she wants to move out and live with her 19 year old boyfriend. She is insisting he has been physically abusing her and keeps telling him that she wants to go to court to be emancipated.
He doesn't know how to control his daughter.. I told him perhaps he should find a parent support group, and some friends of mine said that he should send her to a so-called "boot camp" for the summer.
(I think I'll enjoy my daughter's tender age of 10 for awhile.. sheeezzz!!!)
Advice...?