Dreman
Well-Known Member
I've been out with a hundred women or more. Yeah, laugh if you want, but it's true. Most of them were for one date. I tried something in college where I asked out every woman I saw that I thought looked good, and got shot down a lot. But I got better at picking them, and my percentages went up.
Then I found a girl that really fit, and we went out for four years. When she left (I wouldn't agree to bring other people into our relationship!) it felt horrible. I couldn't eat, I lost thirty pounds in a month (wish I could do that now!), and went around in a daze most of the time. I started working out at church (big church with a gym) to work off my anger, and praying all the while. I finally realized that I would have to forgive her and go on. She was fun, and crazy, and we had a lot of good times. But she was also sometimes undependable, had weird phobias, and preferred a walk on the dark side. She would have taken me places I didn't need to go.
I had three other deep relationships after that, and a lot of shallow ones. The last deep relationship is still going strong after a year of dating, eight years of marriage, and one son. And don't worry about your age, whatever it is. I was 35 when my wife and I married.
It's easy to say "don't worry about it, it will pass, there's other fish in the sea". All true, but not easy to see when you're in the middle of it. Give yourself some time. Or don't. The time will pass anyway. But you will survive, and you will get over it. I remember looking for things to do that she and I would never have done together so I wouldn't fall into the trap of thnking "she would enjoy this". I went out on blind dates (rarely works). I spent time with my friends, the friends that didn't try to tell me anything about it. I spent a lot of time in prayer. I didn't kill anyone (felt like it once or twice), I didn't do anything totally crazy like quit my job and move to Tibet, and I didn't die. I also didn't get over it quickly, but I did get over it. You will too.
Then I found a girl that really fit, and we went out for four years. When she left (I wouldn't agree to bring other people into our relationship!) it felt horrible. I couldn't eat, I lost thirty pounds in a month (wish I could do that now!), and went around in a daze most of the time. I started working out at church (big church with a gym) to work off my anger, and praying all the while. I finally realized that I would have to forgive her and go on. She was fun, and crazy, and we had a lot of good times. But she was also sometimes undependable, had weird phobias, and preferred a walk on the dark side. She would have taken me places I didn't need to go.
I had three other deep relationships after that, and a lot of shallow ones. The last deep relationship is still going strong after a year of dating, eight years of marriage, and one son. And don't worry about your age, whatever it is. I was 35 when my wife and I married.
It's easy to say "don't worry about it, it will pass, there's other fish in the sea". All true, but not easy to see when you're in the middle of it. Give yourself some time. Or don't. The time will pass anyway. But you will survive, and you will get over it. I remember looking for things to do that she and I would never have done together so I wouldn't fall into the trap of thnking "she would enjoy this". I went out on blind dates (rarely works). I spent time with my friends, the friends that didn't try to tell me anything about it. I spent a lot of time in prayer. I didn't kill anyone (felt like it once or twice), I didn't do anything totally crazy like quit my job and move to Tibet, and I didn't die. I also didn't get over it quickly, but I did get over it. You will too.
