Threat Levels
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to
recent terrorist threats and have raised their
security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again
to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Londoners have
not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when
tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been
>re-categorized from Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."
The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"
warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that
it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to
"Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
"Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was
precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's
white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a
heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the
alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
"Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels
remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change
Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from
"Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing
Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels:
"Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as
usual, and the only threat they are worried about is
NATO pulling out of Brussels.
