Tuesday Humor

[Fred]

A tour bus driver is driving with a busload of seniors down a highway

when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a

handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.



After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she

hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about

five more times.



When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little

old lady, " why then don't you eat the peanuts yourself?" "We can't chew

them because we've no teeth", she replied.



The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?" The old lady

replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."

 

[Fred]

It was funny... on Tuesday. :lol::lol:

 

[Bill Ellis]

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator's mouth and place my privates inside, leave 'em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"



The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.



After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his package—unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.



"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.



After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I'll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."

 

[Fred]

OK.



A blonde's car gets hail damaged. She takes it to a body shop for an estimate. The guy at the body shop decides to have some fun and tells her, "You could save yourself some money and fix this yourself. All you have to do is take the car home, wait for the engine to cool and blow into the tailpipe to push the dents back out." Happily she goes home to do this. While she was blowing into the tailpipe, her blonde friend walks up and asks what she's doing. She tells her friend what the guy at the body shop told her to do, but that it doesn't seem to be working. Her blonde friend looks the situation over and says, "DUH! you have to roll the windows up first!"

 

[Larry Gamble]

http://viral.lycos.co.uk/attachments/3939/Orgasmic_Simulator2.htm