Q, as I read your post, I began to smile because I truly believe this is the first time you've attempted to offer help and not sarcasm (at least to me). First, I want to say to that, thank you. I do appreciate your reasonable views. I understand where you are coming from and [gulp] somewhat agree. However, in defense of soundling like a jerk, I would like to add that this entire thing was very amicable until the dealer began their "change of heart". There was no ill intent planned in the case of their "gracious loaner", it was not until they turned this into a who-can-screw-who harder that it became a pissing match. Granted, by playing back, makes us no better, but hey...nothing ventured nothing gained.
As for dealerships and their treatment of women, it is true, what you said, that all are different. However, the norm is as I explained it. Yes, I am sure, given the opportunity to screw every person who walked through the door, regardless of gender, the dealers, in general, would. But there is something about the male mindset that makes it more difficult to "handle" them in a dealing situation.
That all being said - so many positive things from you and your transition into a functioning, contributing member - I have to address you rolling back down the hill you seeming worked so hard to get up. Why take a punch at Tom? A rather cheap shot in my opinion and not particularly needed in this instance.