What have you done to convince your wife to let you get something??

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A1cntrler

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The story:



I gat a 1972 Super Beetle when I was in high school. Drove that thing everywhere. One day when it broke down on me I began to disassemble it and restore it. I made it as far as having to body work done and the motor done. It still needed some misc. pieces and parts, but I joined the military and put it in storage. Flash forward 14 years and I am out of the military. I no longer have an interest in the VW so I put it up for sale. I asked the wife if I sold my VW in the garage, could I put anything else in there to play with. Keep in mind she has never seen me working on the VW as long as I have known her. I'm just not too excited about it. She agrees and says as long as the VW is gone, she doesn't care what goes in that spot. yada yada yada... I have a guy from Orlando flying up to pay for in on Monday.



While I was in the military I had several other vehicles. Isusu Impulse (not the Geo Storm one...), Ford Ranger Splash, Thunderbird SC, Grand Prix, 01 Sport trac and finally the '07 ST, but now I am out and a stay at home dad. I have a little bit of time on my hands and would like to put something I like in there to play with. My Super Coupe always sticks out in my mind as my favorite. I found a 1990 SC with 60k on the odometer, it is a Anniversary Edition 5 speed (1 of 147 made that way) and loaded with every option. The price is reasonable, as it was hit on the front drivers side quarter panel and needs a bumper, hood and fender. The interior condition is impeccable. Only problem with it is the previous owner has cut holes in the door for some tweeters, which he took out of it. I am looking to make it a weekend car that I can only drive to shows or cruises... It will cost about $1000 more than I am selling my VW for. I have the money, so it is not a problem.. The problem is that now that I finally found the car I want, the wife is asking why I need another car. I have the ST and she has a 300M Special that work just fine, and I never worked on the VW while it was in the garage. She thinks my money from the VW would better be spent on a vacation (we take plenty of vacations I think, and even are going to Disney World in a few months...) I tried to say that a vacation only lasts like a week, but I got "and the memories last a lifetime..."



It's kind of like that old commercial, "What would you do fro a Klondike Bar?". I think I would do just about anything. She has never been thrilled or felt an attachment to an automobile before, so he doesn't understand.. How can I convince her?? I also tried saying that this car in my Gym (She spends about 400 a month on a gym membership/personal trainer/dietician) and I got the response "And you think doing that stuff is fun??" She goes several times a week, I thought she liked it, but she says it is to make her a better person..How can I work a car into that???
 
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Here's what you do......just buy the car and ask for forgiveness afterward. That's usually easier than asking for permission. BTW, if she's spending 400/mo to do stuff she could do for almost free, she really doesn't have much room to complain. I do not know of a tactful way to remind her of that fact. Just glad I'm not in your shoes right now.
 
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My wife and I have been married 17 years, the first two years she worked, and the last two years she worked, but in between she REALLY worked, but for bad pay (stay at home mom). Anyway, during all that time, she NEVER told me what I could or couldn't spend money on, nor I her. And we always had joint accounts. Frankly, we rarely ever fought about money.



Sounds like she is doing what she wants, and you are doing what you want, and as a couple/family you have most everything you want.



So, why should this be any different?



Sit down, talk to her some more. Consider taking a PT job to help pay, or show how you will cut some other costs that you are mostly responsible for.



If none of that seems to work, then maybe it is time for seperate accounts. In this scenario (assuming you both work) have a portion of each of your pay deposited into a joint checking account. The portion should be equal to all your joint, recurring, monthly bills (car, home mortgage/rent, utilities, etc), pro-rated by each of your income levels (e.g. if your total monthly joint bills are $3,000, and you make $40K a year and she $50K, then you contribute 4/9 of the 3000 and she 5/9). The remainder of your checks can be auto-deposited into personal savings accounts, one for each of you.



Then, you do what you want with your money. She wants to pay $400/mo for a gym membership, etc. You want a classic VW.



TJR
 
We already discussed me getting a job. It was going to cost more for me to work and pay for childcare then for me to stay at home. So I stay at home. As for cutting costs--we have just refinanced thehouse at a lower rate and paid off the ST, so no car payments, We do Netflix now and cut out all the premimum channels on the cable bill (saved like 100 bucks a month there), we have no credit card debt...money is no issue for us. It is just that she says we don't Need it... I just need to find a way to convince her otherwise...
 
I considered the beg for forgiveness route..but women hold grudges for so long. "Remeber that time back in 1998 in Septemer when......." I don't even remember what happend in September 2006, but I bet she does.....
 
No way would she drive it... She hates 5 speeds..... Plus with so low miles on it I don't know that I would drive it much either...
 
Who cares what she thinks! If you do not get it you will resent it/her for a long time.

Think of it as saving your marriage.
 
TJR - that is basically what my wife and I do. I have my own financial accounts she has hers.



The mortgage, food and utils we pay together.



Two out of four of our cars are paid off. One is paid through my company the other is hers and she is responsible for the car payment.



Luckily she is not a shopper other than the business attire clothes she has to wear for work.



Since we are both into cars if she wants a mod we will discuss it and I'll order it through one of my vendors at cost.
 
I've been married to my wife for 10 years. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, so we only have 1 source of income as well. We have a 3 year old and a 6 year old.



I was able to convince my wife to buy the ST even though we didn't really need a 3rd vehicle (we are only 2 drivers). My rationale was that the ST would be nice to have because of the utility. In your situation, I would recommend mentioning that the SC will be something you are planning on tinkering with, like a hobby. Lots of folks involve cars as a hobby. Her gym membership is the same.



The SC is a nice car. I was in high school when they first came out and I really liked the styling with the body kit and cutouts in the front bumper that set the SC apart from the N/A cars.



Some reasons why your wife should let you buy the SC: :)

1. The SC is a larger car and would fit the kids in the backseat.

2. What if your ST or her 300M needs to go into the shop for whatever reason? It's nice to have a 3rd car around as a backup that can be used.

3. You miss working with cars and the SC will give you something to spend time on and tinker with (hobby). You probably would tinker more with the SC than your newer ST.

4. You don't really like driving a truck (ST) all the time. The SC will allow you to drive something different. Remind her cars handle differently than trucks.

5. You miss driving a 5-speed.

6. You will let her drive the SC every once in a while.



BTW, TJR, you are totally right that stay-at-home moms are REALLY WORKING for low monetary compensation. Thanks for the reminder to give my wife extra props when I get home today!
 
I guess I am pretty lucky. My wife not only said buy what ever vehicle you want, she pitched in several thousand of her hard earned dollars to help buy my new shiny 07 ST limited!
 
My wife nor I have anything against a 3rd car for a toy. I just sold my modified 'stang. Was not forced to, was time to let it go. I will be looking for something else.



Let me play devils advocate. If you let a classic VW sit in peices that many years and probably got less for it. Will you actually put the time into the SC, to get it up to the show qaulity that you speak of?? Or do you have the fever?? Her attitude, could be her being silent over you, letting the VW sit all that time.



Cant give any advice for you. That type of thing is always as per couple involved. Especially when there is already disintion...good luck..
 
Simple reasoning;

when you were a kid, the peoples wagon was cool. The military took you away from it and to her. Now that you are older and you still have both (VW and her) one of them has to be replaced.



grump
 
Here's my ploy to get what I want. You gotta work for what you want, & this could take months. Start talking about a high dollar item than back pedal to buy the cheaper item which is what you wanted from the start. Never fails in this household!



My last "get what I want ploy": I started dropping hints about buying a car, a $36,500 STI to drive just on weekends. Talked about that for several months. Had all the brochures, showed her the finances concerning the car. Even took a test drive for good measure.



Then during the first week of December she asked for my Christmas list. Here's my list dear:

1. a Subaru STI - blue $36,500

or

2. Nikon D200 camera body, camera bag, 2 batteries with charger, 2G memory card, several filters & an 80-200mm f/2.8 lens $2454.

((After Christmas, I'll buy the addional lenses I'll need.))



This was a total stretch because I bought a Nikon D70s back in April. But the camera & one lens had some limitations, yet I was impressed with it and wanted to explore digital photography with better equipment.



Bottom line: Santa Claus was good...
 

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