Bullied kid fights back and gets suspended

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I've had a little experience from both ends of this scale:



Elementary school - From grade 3 through grade 7 I was bullied daily... I was both the little kid and the poor kid. I never fought back, nor did I dare tattle-tale out of fear.



Grade 7 - I moved out west to my fathers place. I joined muay thia, had a growth spurt, and built a pile of quiet confidence as a result. I still allowed people to verbally assault me (as I was a little shy), but the first guy that layed his hand on me had a broken nose, orbital bone, and two missing teeth. 4 punches. Was it exsessive: absolutely... Did I regret it: not even a little - 7 years of being on the receiving end of the bullying came out in one combination of punches.



Grade 11 & 12 - no one picked on me at all (the whole school knew what I was capable of)... Unfortunately, my ability to defend myself manifested in a desire to be the "big man on campus". When I saw a bully picking on anyone, I went after that bully with next to no restraint - I spent far too much time suspended, lost 1 full semester of high school as a result of said suspensions. I was called "the bully killer", but in reality, I was just as much of a bully as the bullies were. It took me years to realise that it was wrong - but I still am unsure if it's worth any regret.



15 years later: my oldest daughter has been getting picked on by one group of girls for 4 years now. She's talked to myself and my wife about it, I've contacted the school, the bully' parents, and the guidance counsellor for the school board on numerous occasions. By "tattle-taling" to her parent, my daughters verbal attacks became more frequent, and the physical altercations started (mostly shoving and tripping in the halls).

I took the heavy bag out of storage, taught my daughter how to throw a punch, and told her to hit the first one that touches her with every ounce of force that she has... I told her that the suspension for a light hit in the face will be every bit as severe as a full on power punch - "so you hit that girl with everything you have... and I'll buy the kid dentures if I have to".



She hit the girl three weeks later - and was suspended for three days. I bought her an X-box to pass the time. The bully was suspended for pushing my daughter (1 day).



My daughter has not been called a single name since (over 4 months now). Her confidence has gone through the roof, her grades have improved, and she's joined the local wrestling club.



So - my take: Good on the bigger kid for putting the bully in his place. That was no where near excessive force in my eyes... and I hope they both learned from this experience.

 
Shawn,



Good story, good parenting. Glad that your daughter came to you. Clearly the bullies parents were non-parents, lest the bullying would have stopped. It's one thing to have a bully as a kid if you don't know about it, but once parents know about it there should be no more bullying. Period.



Defending yourself and sending a signal in the process, when it comes to that, is a great thing.



BTW, I would have gotten the principal of the school fired, or died trying, in order to get both kids in the incident to get the same punishment. Negative attention, like alerting the media of the incident, especially in this day and age, is a great way to get justice for these kinds of things. Maybe you tried. I hope you did. Maybe you didn't want retaliation from the other kid and her parents. F-them I say.



Still, good job. Seriously.



Lastly, girls have so much more "school drama" than boys. I'm just finding that out. Our youngest of three is our girl. She is in 4th grade. Her oldest brother graduating this year. Girls are so much tougher. Not sure why. My wife works mostly with women, and has her whole career in different job. Same thing. Petty, catty, clicky crap, often. Wassup with that? By and large, with guys, if they have an issue they just work it out.



TJR
 
I'll change the order slightly, to the parents of the bullies first, then the school, then the bullies themselves--and then, at the tail end, I'll also toss in the parents of the victim. I drop the bullies themselves to third simply because often times, their actions are based on their own insecurities, and not knowing how to handle them because the parents haven't taught them how to address them. Buy yeah, we're on the same page.
Click to expand...

After thinking about it a bit more, I realized that there's at least one more person involved who is fully deserving of a multi-day suspension--the cameraman. To have the camera running right from the start, he clearly knew about the littler kid's plans to attack before it went down--yet he did nothing to stop it, and by filming it, he indirectly participated in it. And then he proceeded to post it on the Internet for the world to see. The cameraman doesn't deserve as much punishment as the littler kid--but he deserves at least as much as the bigger kid for what he did during the fight, and even more for what he did afterwards.
 
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Bill V,



Good point. If anything, not only did the cameraman do nothing to stop it, as you said, he really contributed to the event in a negative way, possibly instigating it.



Without a camera there might not have even been a fight.



TJR
 
Without the video the bigger kid would have taken the brunt of the punishement because everyone would assume the bigger kid started it....
 
This wasn't a fight. One punch and a body slam?



1964 In my school just about all the guys fought. The girls never. The gym teachers were the only ones who would break up a fight, other teachers ran. There were no gangs, so it was always one on one. Fighting was sort of like a tennis ladder, you challenged up, but never jumped over two steps up. The police never got called. No one ever got suspended. We dated on Friday nights and never dated on Saturday nights. Saturday nights was fighting with other schools or going to the amusement park and fighting with the sailors. No one ever got a serious injury.



If I got suspended for three days every time I got in a fight, I would still be doing time.



Things change, you just have to laugh.



:grin::grin::grin:
 
I didn't read through all of the posts,,,,



But,,, I have to think the bigger kid has been picked on before. Unfortunately, those that are not skinny, pretty, handsome, cute, ect, ect, ect normally do.



The little kid got some of his own medicine. I NEVER use the word deserve, but this is as close as it gets...

You can't punch someone in the face and expect no retaliation....
 
Here is the catch. DOJ will only investigate bullying cases if the victim is considered protected under the 1964 Civil Rights legislation. In essence, only discrimination against a victims race, sex, national origin, disability, or religion will be considered by DOJ. The overweight straight white male who is verbally and/or physically harassed because of his size can consider himself invisible to the Justice Department.



Apparently, the Justice Department is going by George Orwells famous Animal Farm ending: All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.
Click to expand...



What you would expect from AG Holder...



 
On today's news they had the little bully on for an interview and he claims that he was bullied and has been bullied all his life. That may be true and maybe his motivation for going after the chunky kid since he thought he would not fight back. It was appearant from the video that the little kid was bullying the big kid and threw numerous punches at the bigger kid trying to get him to fight. I think the chunky kid defended himself in the best way he could, and did not retaliate until it became obvious that they little bully was going to pursist and that he could get hurt if it did not stop. Slamming the kid on the pavement and stopping the attack was exactly what he should have done. An I, unlike CoastieJoe feel that the little bully got exactly what he deserved !!! It was a hard lesson, but I doubt that he will be bullying anybody for a long time. I think he learned a lesson: "If you are going to be a bully, you better be good at it or you can get hurt". :grin:



The school suspended both students, and that is nothing new. I got into a couple of fights when I was in school and even then we were both suspended. Neither incident was related to bullying, just a childish difference of opinions...:grin:



...Rich



 
RichardL,



Yeah, I saw him on the Today Show as well.



Whenever I catch two of our kids fighting, invariably I catch them in the supposed middle of the dispute, and the one being the aggressor at that point in time almost always says:



"He started it!"



Yesterday it was our 15yo and almost 18yo sons smacking each other, headlocks and the like. I did the same thing with my young bro at that age, and I can say more often than not it started out as just "brotherly love." Sometimes, once in particular, it ended up with really hurt feelings, busted furniture, ripped clothes... It happens. :)



Anyway, the term "bullying" has become an overused term of the past few years, I think. Look at a kid crossways now and you are "bullying" them. Way back when, fat kids were called "fat", skinny kids "rail", tall kids "beanpole", etc. Now, there is supposed to be zero tolerance for that. Oh, and you can get a pass so you don't have to run or climb the rope in gym class. And, if you don't like the score you got on your test, you can ask for extra credit. Also, you don't have to memorize your addition and multiplication tables anymore; instead, you can use one of several different "counting" techniques to figure out the answer. Besides, when math gets tough, you will always have a calculator nearby. Same with typing, and spelling...those skills are a waste. The computer makes all of that easier now.



We've become a nation of wimps. Don't know when we "jumped the shark" as a nation of adults, men and women, and became filled with children that never really grew up. I'm thinking the baby boomers and maybe there kids might actually be the last generation or true of adults, leading adult lives, with adult expectations, and passing adult values and placing adult-like expectations on their children.



(putting on asbestos suit...sorry for the broad brushstrokes above, of course, not EVERYONE born since around 1970 is still a child)...



TJR
 
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WOW. I finally watched the video. That was a smack down. He took care of him and then walked away. I am sure if the little guy had been the one that delivered such a blow he would have added a couple of extra kicks in while the guy was on the ground.



 
this is a fight between my son and a older kid that had been harassing him for months. he had told me the kid always had something to say to him and would never let him pass without at the least calling him some sort of name. i gave him the speech about turning the another cheek and walk away from trouble ect. it all came to head when they happen to meet in a local park. as hes hitting him you can hear him saying" stop talking sh!t." i told my son i was proud that he stood up for himself but that i thought the curb stomp at the end was totally uncalled for.
 
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