Humor--Why I Joined the Navy

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TrainTrac

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With a wink and a nod all of my brothers and sisters who've served...:cool:



;):lol::p



U.S. Marine Corps Rules:



1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

3. Have a plan.

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

5. Be polite. Be professional, but, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

11. Always win. There is no unfair fight.

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only

remember who lived.

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.



Navy SEAL's Rules



1. Look very cool in sunglasses.

2. Kill every living thing within view.

3. Adjust Speedo.

4. Check hair in mirror.



US Army Rangers Rules



1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.

3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.

4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.



US Army Rules



1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.

2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.

3. Curse bitterly.

4. Curse bitterly.

5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.

6. Curse bitterly.



US ARMY RECON



1. Slip silently into area of operations.

2. Kill anything that moves or breathes.

3. Sneak out of area of operations.

4. Haul ass to the LZ for the pickup.

5 Call in heavy artillery and an air strike to cover up infiltration activity.

6. Destroy all maps and reference materials.

7. Play dumb when you return to firebase.



US Air Force Rules



1. Have a cocktail.

2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.

3. See what's on HBO.

4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"

5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.

6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.

7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.

8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.

9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax

exemption.

11. Bomb 'em back to the stone age.

12. Return back to base for another cocktail.



US Navy Rules



1. Go to Sea.

2. Drink Coffee.

3. Deploy Marines
 
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:lol::lol::lol: Did my 22 years ending in Feb '87 and my first ship out of Boot Camp was the USS Intrepid. Enjoyed it tremendously, am addicted to coffee now :banana: :lol::lol::lol:
 
In my case, for item number two, substitue "Drink Pop" for "Drink Coffee". In 20 years of service, I never drank coffee. I just never acquired a taste for it. Never smoked either. Although I made sure to take "non-smoke" breaks, right alongside my shipmates who took several "smoke breaks" throughout the day!;)
 
I'm lovin' it too!

The coffee was better on shore.

The stuff on the carrier was nasty....but I drank it anyway. :p



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US Army Rangers Rules

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.



US Army Rules

5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.

6. Curse bitterly.



US ARMY RECON

2. Kill anything that moves or breathes.

4. Haul ass to the LZ for the pickup.

7. Play dumb when you return to firebase.



These are the rules I played by in 'nam...:eek:



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