Long Distance relationship.. Good or Bad?

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Andrew N

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Friends,

I met a wonderful girl that lives in delaware through my friends. But the problem is that shes 2 hours away. I really like her and she likes me too. But we both agreed that if we get invole in a relationship we can only see eachothers on weekend. Between my works schedule and her going to school and work, we only have time on weekends. Is this something that i should give it a shot. I mean we dont even talk on the phone at night. just communicate via e-mail. Does long distance relationship usualy work? One to two day a week is that enough? Thanks ,

Andrew
 
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Two hours is nothing, and a lot of couples only see each other on weekends. Not that big of a deal, in my opinion.



I dated a girl in Florida for three years... and I lived in California. Now, it didn't work out in the end, but that wasn't so much due to the distance.
 
well, My past experiences have been, they don't work to well. I have had one and hour away and one 1 hr and a half away. But that doesnt mean they don't work for other people. :D





Boodro
 
Because of our schedules and distance of 45 miles, my girlfriend and I have adapted to seeing each other on mostly Sundays alone. We also plan out weekend get-aways every now and then. Been doing this for four years this October.
 
The first year I knew my fiancee, I lived in Portugal -- the next two in Florida -- the next one in Korea. Those first four years I made a lot of phone calls to Oklahoma. Now that we have been together in Oklahoma for two years, we are still going strong. There were some rough times, for sure, but I am sure that in the next year or so we will get married and be very happy. Just take your time and get to know her. Get an unlimited plan on your cell phone and call her whenever you get a chance. Two hours drive is nothing. I don't even consider that long distance.
 
I mostly see my girl on weekends and usually i don't see her weeks on end...she works at a hospital and works like 15hr days 7 days a week and when she is off work i usually am at work or asleep but we both have off on sundays and that is usually when we hang out but this has been going on for oh.....about 8yrs :lol: so yes depending on the person a long distance relationship can work as long as the 2 people want it too work.
 
2 hours? thats not long distance. :) It's tough, but if you both want it to work it's easy, you just need to understand that you can not just "run right over". Being military for 23 years, I have spent alot of time away from my wife..... we actually get stronger being apart.... we appreciate each other more when we are together...



good luck.
 
Long distance relationships are the best. The greatest benefit is that fact that you can still meet and have a relationship with a significant other in your own city and use the "business" excuss to get away for the weekends. It's a win-win situation.
 
The greatest benefit is that fact that you can still meet and have a relationship with a significant other in your own city and use the "business" excuss to get away for the weekends. It's a win-win situation.
Click to expand...



That's B.S.!! It is not a win-win situation for anybody, all you will wind up doing is hurting somebody that way. It is a risky road to travel by having a long distance relationship with Woman "A" and trying to have a different in-town relationship with Woman "B". It would be a lowlife thing to do and I wouldn't take "DJ"'s advice, nobody win's that way.



Remember Lorena Bobbitt? Enough said!
 
It worked for me. When I first met my wife I lived in MD, and she was here in MO. Lots of time on the phone and on the puter, and we saw each other about every two months. We stayed in that set-up for a year then I moved here and now we have been married for 4 years. Oh and we met on the internet! :wub:
 
I think it may even help, sometimes. It makes you spend time on the phone talking more, and getting to know each other. When I graduated college, my girlfriend and I were suddenly 2 hours away, and it really made no difference. But I'm crazy enough to drive two hours for a dinner, and then two hours back. I dated a girl 5 hours away for about 2 years. We broke up, but not because of distance. Get the unlimited phone plan, and spend a lot of time on the phone.
 
When I was single (not so long ago), I didn't see my assorted g/f's much during the week anyway. Too busy working two jobs. Two hours away isn't so bad. Assuming she's in school for something, that won't last forever and she could get a job where you live, assuming the relationship works out anyway.



Thing with long distance relationships, pretty much always somebody has to eventually bite the bullet, move, and change jobs.
 
Long or short distance relationships are work. If they were easy everyone would be doing it....



Bottom line, long distances do require additional work. You have feelings for this woman. If you didn't, you would not have posted the question. If you don' put some effort into the chance of a relationship then you may question it later on. I'd rather try and see where it goes than to question myself later on in life....
 
I don't really consider 2 hours long distance. But:



I know two couples it's worked for, my brother and his wife and my deceased uncle and his wife.



My brother was in school at UC Davis, his girlfriend/Fiancee now wife was at Truman State in Kirksville, MO. This went on for 3+ years.



My uncle and his wife.... he lived in KC, MO she lived in South Carolina/Virginia for the first 10 years of their marriage. 2 Weekends a month. They both made great money so it was easier. She eventually changed jobs and moved to KC, MO. Needless to say, they never had children.



If you're dedicated, anything can work and it would be wonderful. If it works, your can pretty much besure that you can overcome any obsticle. If one side is not as dedicated, it's over from the beginning, you're out time, money and the possibility of finding someone else. You need to decide.



Good luck.
 
Two hours distance as long as you get together on weekends shouldn't be a problem.



If you have to see each other every night to keep it going, than it wouldn't last anyway, because once you get married and have kids (one day), you will be lucky to spend any quality time with your spouse for days, often weeks at a time.



If you can't handle that as young adults with few distractions, you certainly won't be able to handle it later on with kids.



TJR
 
Friends,

First of all I wanted to say Thank you for those that taken the time out and posted on here. Ive asked a lots of questions about off topic but I feels that everyone on here has given me great advice. So this is a best place to come back to for advice. As for Diane and I, well Im a volunteer firefighter,and I also work as a Jr system adminitrator for a software company. I spend most of my time at work, if not at the firehouse doing many things for the community, I even save lives. Some weekend I wont be able to travel the distance to see Diane due to meetings with the fire department. Bingo on friday evening, etc etc. So we sometimes went 2 weeks without seeing eachothers. The problem seems to be that we dont even call one another on the telephone. we just e-mail one another, shes very focus about her school and work, she even wanted to get a second job. Im not sure if shes interested in me if shes going to school and working 2 jobs. We both tried so hard at this but sometimes she work on weekend also, all day fri, sat, and sunday. But whenever were together, were both very happy, hold hands,hugs, kisses but nothing more than that. So my thing is that I should just calm down and relax and give the girl her space? and eventually someday something will happen?

Thanks again for all your time and I really appreciated.

Andrew
 
What else are you looking for? You of all people should understand her drive to hold down two jobs and school at the same time. Looking at it from her side it looks like you are doing the same thing.



It's possible that she's looking to see if you will stick with it through tough times. And if you are looking for a more physical relationship, she may simply not be "that kind of girl". Rare as that is nowadays, they do still exist. If she is like that, hang on to her, because you won't have to worry about who she might run into down the line.



And if the phone call thing is that important to you, and e-mail isn't enough, talk to her about it. It may be that she can't afford the calling plan that will allow her to talk for long. She is working two jobs for a reason, and I bet it's not because she's bored!
 
2 hours really isn't far at all. My girlfriend just moved to Puerto Rico. I have to buy a $300 plane ticket and spend 3 hours on a flight just to see her.
 

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