Now my ex lost his job.. child support question

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Michelle Widell

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Apr 14, 2001
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Location
Machesney Park, IL
My exhusband informed me last Friday that he lost his job. After he found out he's getting less than $200/wk for unemployment, he told me that he is going to the court house to file for reduction in child support. With my losing my job a month ago (I'm in the midst of going out on my own for computer/network consulting, and it's doing fairly well, but still not enough to fully support me), this isn't good news. I live alone with my daughter, have a mortgage and a car payment, and he lives with his girlfriend with no other liabilities.



I'm a little irritated.. guess there isn't much I can do about this. Anyone else out there have experience with this situation? (For the record, he'll have about $1,300 in monthly income with unemployment and disability from the military - he currently pays $100/wk plus half of our daughter's health insurance, which is $50 (his half) a month.)
 
Michelle,

You may need to get your lawyer involved, but my understanding is that he is still reqired to pay, and although he may be able to get it reduced, it would be too easy for him to later get a better job and hide his income.



...Rich
 
Nope...Michelle, no experience with that, but I do have an opinion:



Is there any possible way you can resolve this without lawyers?



By resolve, I mean come to a compromise that you both can agree with...one that doesn't include him trying to pay more or get caught up in the future, because that won't work, typically. Maybe just an agreement as to a reduced amount, temporarily until he gets on his feet. Give him x weeks or months, and regular rules apply; if he is late in sending the agreed to reduced amount, or moving back up to the full amount by the deadline you contact the authorities. Oh, and part of the deal would have him NOT go to the court for a reduction. This has the benefit of NOT officially changing your current arrangement, yet you recognizing that he needs some time to get a new job.



I ask if there is any way you can do this without lawyers because, frankly, wouldn't it be better if you can come to some agreement and keep more of the money in your respective pockets?



TJR
 
TJR: that is sound advice. I know we don't know Michelle's relationship with her ex, but if even on halfway good terms, I'd give him that option so that he could see you were willing to work with him until he gets back on his feet. Heck, might even impress the daughter knowing that her folks are taking a mature approach to settling the problem.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Michelle, first, contact Legal Aid. You may qualify for pro bono [free] legal representation. Second, the courts don't usually change child support just because someone looses a job because that is a temporary change in circumstance. Also, you need to find out if you are entitled to more child support since you also lost your job. It seems that now is a good time to take a look at the child support decree and determine what is fair for BOTH of you. Just as it's fair for the recipiant to ask for more when conditions warrant, it's also just as fair for the payor to ask for a lower amount when conditions warrant. Child support is not about punishment, it's supposed to be an equitable distribution of child rearing expense. No emotion...just economic logic.
 
Sounds like a tough situation Michelle. I want to wish you the best of luck, both in your new business and in the child support resolution.
 
Michelle -



What you need to is is contact the DA (Dirstrict Attorney's)-Child Support Division in your state. They will instruct you to either go to their office and fill out forms or they can mail them to you.



The forms will also include an audit of his current and last tax year wages.



They can attach/garnish his wages, any wages, except for cash or if he is self employed, that he gets including unemployment and Military Retirement pay. You don't have to pay a dime for this service.



If he is in the rears they will attach even more. When he files for taxes at the end of the year and if he gets back money that money will automatically go to you through the DA-Child Support Division office.



I setup this up on my own because my ex wife wasn't claiming I was paying her child support and I was. It has benefitted me well because at times she will say she didn't receive her payment this month and I'll I have to do is call the DA's Office and they fax me a "Paid" history file. And, now I have it set up where I can see when the DA cashes the check each month so I have double proof of payment now.



Good Luck,

SST
 
While the concept of coming to a reduced contribution without the legal system seems nice...I'm not sure if that is a real option. When my parents got divorced, my sister was still underaged. My father had to pay "x" amount each week. He owns his own landscaping company and the winter months are tough. He had trouble making payments in the winter. When that monthly amount wasn't paid, the courts came after my dad (after 2-3 months of non payment). My mother didn't have to do anything. By the time they came after him, the winter was nearing an end and he made the payment. Your ex may have the right to request a reduction and if the judge rules that he's eligible, there should be a legitimate legal reason for this. I don't know if there's anything that can be done on your end from a legal perspective. However, I would assume the judge would require immediate notification if he finds full-time employment. I realize each location and judicial setup may vary...but this is how things happened with my family. Best of luck. Hopefully, he will do the right thing and good luck with your new business.



BTW - in many cases, cash (under the table) jobs do not get accounted for by either side. That's the benefit, although illegal. It happens quite a bit. If you own a company, you can pay someone cash and don't have to provide federal taxes as an employer, social security, added insurance, etc. It can be costly to payroll employees.
 
>>It can be costly to payroll employees.



Yeah, it's costly to buy things at the store too. That's why we should all just shoplift!



I know, hefhay, your are just pointing out that "under the table" exists, not that you support it.



Working under the time, FT, or employing people under the table FT is a VERY bad practice. Anyone thinking about doing it ASSUME YOU WILL GET CAUGHT. There is this thing called "Forensic Accounting"....it figures out given a persons purchases and lifestyle (typically easy to assess) approximately how much income they are making a year.



So, if an employee working FT under the table, be wary. If an employer performing this practice, all it takes is ONE employee to get caught and they will roll over on you, because it's really the employer moreso than the employee that the IRS wants.



Note I keep saying FT (full-time), as part-time, under the table work that is of modest amounts is like gambling earnings...harder to account for; but be wary just the same.



Be careful out there.



TJR
 
Michelle, since you live in Illinois, start reading the info in the link. In the FAQs section it briefly discusses modification.
 
TJR - you are correct...I do not support the "under the table" concept. Actually, being in HR, I completely support paying all employees on the books. In many cases, employers do not "save" money by doing this. They lower their taxable income by paying this money. If a company is willing to do this...it's a question of ethics to the employee. Hopefully, this won't even be an issue.
 
Thanks all for the input! You guys have given me some good information.



I talked to my brother about this, and he said that even if my ex goes to the courthouse to file for reduced child support, that I would have to be served, go to court, and it would take at least 30 more days for anything to happen. My brother didn't think that the judge would grant a reduction in child support, due to this being a temporary situation. That eases my mind a bit...



Funny thing is, his girlfriend was on the warpath when her ex didnt work for MONTHS.. She took him to court, and he was forced him to pay all the child support in arrearage. No reduction there. Funny when the shoe is on the other foot.
 
Don't mean to stray from the key topic, but this thread is precisely the reason I frequent this website.



Granted we all agree to disagree on political matters, but when it comes to personal affairs, we step to the plate to try to help a fellow member.
 
As a disable vet I can only say that his disability pay can not be touched by anyone., not even the IRS.

He is a lowlife if he wont take care of his child.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope you nail his non-support ass

Gene
 
Is there any possible way you can resolve this without lawyers?
Click to expand...



Unless you're fairly competent in drafting a contract that is, simply, bulletproof, do not ignore a lawyer's advice. An agreement is only as good as its smallest loophole.



If you do decide to hammer out something out on your own, and again, I advise against it, remember - two promises, two actions. You promise to not utilize the legal right to bring action against him for nonpayment (suspend or forbear some legal right) if he promises to pay the agreed to amount indefinitely (till the child is 18, I assume). Your promise is contingent upon his upkeep of his promise and his action - actually paying. Should he break either, there should be a cause for action for breach of contract.



Do not use my advice as legal advice but rather as a starting place if you decide to do this. Please, please, please consult with an attorney if you try to hammer this out... :cool:
 
If your ex does get the court to reduce the support, make sure that when he does get another job, you go back to the court to get it raised back up again.
 
FYI: Even if you can work things out without an attorney, since there is a child involved, in most states, a judge has to approve any changes, which still involves filing, serving etc.



Best of luck to you.
 
I did as TJR suggested when my daughter decided to live with me. Her mom and I negotiated a new agreement without a lawyer and had it notarized. Dorothy lives with me now, and neither of us pays child support to the other. The military accepted this written agreement to stop the automatic payments I had going to my ex after it was reviewed by them.



I make enough to provide 100% of my daughter's support, and that is what I do. Her mom has no responsibilities financially, and I like that, because I don't need to deal with her on the money issue anymore. Life has been very peaceful for everyone since this change occurred. :D



Good luck with your situation. I know it is different from mine, but sometimes the hassle just isn't worth the money.
 
$450 a week is pretty good, we were only getting $240 a month from my ex's husband for several years for 2 kids, now it's still only $390
 

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