Todays Joke

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EddieS'04

In Memoriam 1950-2022
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The Best Pub in the World



A Scotsman, an Englishman and a Newfoundlander were sitting in a bar in Toronto. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional.





"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he will buy the fifth drink for you."



"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."



"Ahhh, that's nothin'," said the Newfie. "Back home in Sin Jahn's there's the Codfish Bar. The moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All on the house!"



The Englishman and Scotsman immediately shout down the Newfie's claims, but he swears every word is true.



"Well," said the Englishman, still suspicious. "Did this actually happen to you?"



"Not me myself, personally, no," admitted the Newf. "But it did happen to me sister quite a few times."





 
Okay, that's the funniest one I've seen in a while. LOL

 
Two Irishmen were lost at sea in a small boat. The fifth day they were about to die of thirst. One of the men found a vase in the front of the boat, he rubbed it and a genie appeared. He was granted one wish.



Before the other man could say anything he said. "Turn the sea into Beer" It happened instantly.



The other man then slapped and cussed the man making a wish. The one assaulted couldn't understand and asked the what was wrong. He said "You idiot, now we will have to piss in the boat"
 

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