Why wives should not take their husbands to Wallmart

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TomT

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This is pretty funny:



The following letter was sent to a long time patron of a local WalMart Store. After receiving this letter, she vowed that she would NEVER take her husband shopping with her again!!!



Re: Mr. Bill Fenton: Multiple Complaints



Dear Mrs. Fenton,



Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of our stores We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerk s are attending counseling from the trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and are listed below.



15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse is shopping:



1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, Code 3 in Housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

(And, last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

 
hahaha.. I have actually done some of that (condoms, alarm clocks, funnels.... hahaha) I have yet t get a letter.. Im jealous
 
The exact same list started as a "Fifteen ways to have fun in while shopping" list, that someone adapted. (You can tell the other one came first--#4 makes more sense as "Walk up to an employee and tell her in an official tone, Code 3 in Housewares.... and watch what happens." The "and watched what happens" part of this adaptation would never be written as part of any store manager's real response to such a string of incidents.) But it's still definitely a classic--thanks for reminding me how funny it is!
 
ME and my friends got booted out of walmart back in high school for playing hockey in sporting goods at 2 in the morning ( it was a 24 hour walmart in NV) Those were some good times
 
I 'd hate to see how long the list will be at one of the new SUPER WALMARTS would be...:eek:





... in the Produce Isle He....
 

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