Losing Faith/Respect in some drivers

[Andy Chase]

So on Friday I had to go to my wife's uncles funeral (died of a sudden heart attack at 53 - had a physical 6 mos prior - no warning signs of heart disease, but they said he was stage 4). We had to drive 15-20 miles from the Church to the cemetary. There was 1 cop directing traffic for us. I've never seen so many people either cut off the funeral prosession, merge in line with us (in one case, driving slower so the last 4 cars couldn't keep up), wouldn't let us turn at intersections or passing us - the last straw for the cop, he said some choice words to the lady driving and wouldn't let her move her car until we were done.



I was taught if there was a funeral prosession, to turn your headlights on out of a sign of respect and slow down, or let them pass.



(We did have our 4 ways on and the funeral flags as well).

 

[Thomas Rogers]

My wife says that I tend to make excuses for people's bad behavior, but instead I think it is my optimistic view of people that gives them the benefit of the doubt.



With that said, is it possible that:



a. with the advent of DTRL (daytime running lights) that many if not all of those people that "cut in" didn't know this was a funeral procession?



b. The cop didn't do a great job directing traffic if he (or she) allowed people to "cut in?"



c. The funeral director was not "on the ball" by placing visible signs on all the cars in the procession indicating they are part of said procession? You say you had funeral flags on? Were they visible on all sides of the car? Maybe those cutting in were from a side in which the flags couldn't be seen?



Sorry to hear that. It doesn't surprise me with today's incivility level that one, maybe two might get a-holes. But you say that "so many" tried to cut in, etc, which makes me wonder if there wasn't a breakdown somewhere in the procession, its assembly, its execution that contributed to the seeming rudeness?



If there are those that saw it was a funeral procession and willfully, knowingly cut in, then by all means, that's simply rude.



TJR

 

[Robert Caffyn]

I've had it happen before. People just have no regard for others. Here's a prime example, having cars pull out into a motorcycle rally(700-800 bikes) with State Police escort! Had them cross through us, get in line and all manner of disrespect. Can people be in that much of a hurry? Go figure... Bob :fire:

 

[Bill V]

I can honestly say I've never seen funeral flags on cars other than the hearse and the first one or two cars for immediate family members.



I also remember being taught to turn your headlights on if you're actually participating in the procession--it's the way to indicate that you're in the procession. Per those lessons, turning your headlights on if you're not in the procession not only isn't showing respect, but is illegal (unless driving conditions dictate having your lights on for that reason).



To back up what TJR said, I've been in far too many funeral processions where the people in the procession didn't know or didn't act on the fact that the procession has the right of way. They'd stop at every stop sign or stop light, etc. And I really couldn't fault anyone not in the procession for not cutting through a line like that.

 

[Andy Chase]

TJR:



A- we all had 4-way flashers/hazards on. I know some prosessions do running lights instead.



B- It probably would've been better had they had 2 cops directing, but he did the best he could do as the only one. There were a number of stop lights that we had to go through and he would get out at one until half the cars would go through and also so the cross traffic would see that it was a funeral prosession, then he would speed up to the next one. But as soon as he left, the cars would try and go through the intersection. Some would pull out as close to our lane as they could and if they had a chance, they'd speed through the prosession.



C- We had the orange funeral flags on the roof above the driver's seat so they should've been visible from all 4 sides.



There were at least 10 cars that cut us off or merged in line with us. And probably 15-20 cars that prevented us from driving through a few intersections to keep up with the prosession.



Bill V, there were ~30 cars in the prosession and all but 1 had a flag on it. When I was mentioning turning the lights on out of respect, I meant as you wait for the prosession to pass, or were going the opposite way. I could see your point that if someone would've done that and then gotten in line with the prosession so they could make a few lights.

 

[Thomas Rogers]

Andy,



Was the break between cars quite long? Maybe some thought there was the end of the procession when it wasn't.



I've been in many funeral processions in several parts of NY and PA and have to say, I have never experienced this. But then, everyone one I have been in the cars always stayed close together, slow rolled through intersections, etc.



TJR

 

[Andy Chase]

Only the normal gaps needed to be safe, maybe 1-3 car lenghts, except for when the one lady got right behind me and went 10mph slower than the prosession, the four cars behind me were 1/4 mile behind, but they were able to speed up once that lady turned.

 

[H D]

Wow. Here, everyone stops, both sides of the road and waits for the entire procession to pass. All traffic in all directions. Sorry to hear about the disrespect of some.

 

[Kevin Lang]

I also remember being taught to turn your headlights on if you're actually participating in the procession--it's the way to indicate that you're in the procession. Per those lessons, turning your headlights on if you're not in the procession not only isn't showing respect, but is illegal (unless driving conditions dictate having your lights on for that reason).

I've never heard of such an asinine headlight restriction. That would make no sense, and seeing how many people drive with their headlights on constantly, would not make a good identifier for a funeral procession. Flags make a lot more sense, but my experience jibes with yours in that few processions use them, and those that do only use them on a few cars.

To back up what TJR said, I've been in far too many funeral processions where the people in the procession didn't know or didn't act on the fact that the procession has the right of way. They'd stop at every stop sign or stop light, etc. And I really couldn't fault anyone not in the procession for not cutting through a line like that.

I concur.

Here's a prime example, having cars pull out into a motorcycle rally(700-800 bikes) with State Police escort! Had them cross through us, get in line and all manner of disrespect.

I have no problem with stopping for a funeral procession. I have major issues with these absurd motorcycle rallies. I see a lot of bikers advocating right-wing government issues, yet they all seem to have a ridiculous "me first!" philosophy. This presumption of entitlement goes against what many of these bikers claim to stand for.



I object to having my tax dollars wasted, and my fellow citizens less protected, so that a gaggle of bikers can parade around blocking traffic with police escort. Oh, they say its for "charity", and it may well be, but all I see are a bunch of predominately old fat white dudes riding from one bar to another. One of those bars tends to be a Cancun Cantina. Given that, you'd think that the bikers in MD would have at least rallied against our new alcohol tax. If they had, I'd have less animus towards them, but they didn't.:angry::angry:

 

[Thomas Rogers]

KL,



Back in the day before daytime running lights were common, the common funeral procession etiquette was to turn on your headlights. Even without any flags, etc, a constant stream of slow moving, tightly spaced cars driving down the road all with the headlights on was the common indicator of a funeral procession.



I'm surprised you never heard of or encountered that "standard convention".



TJR

 

[Bill V]

KL, see TJR's post right above mine. There's nothing asinine about it. Technology changes might have made that approach less practical in many situations, but it was a good system at one time, and is the main system some people know.

 

[Bill V]

There's a flip side to this whole conversation too. I remember back when I was in college, a funeral procession went by on campus. The lead car came to a stoplight, and the procession stopped, with the end of the procession being near a major crosswalk. The car in the procession which would have been blocking the crosswalk stopped short of it, allowing pedestrians to cross during this delay. But as some pedestrians did so, the people in the last car in the procession to clear the crosswalk rolled down their windows and started screaming obscenities at the pedestrians, about how disrespectful they were being, and about what awful people they are for doing that, and how they're all going to hell for walking in a crosswalk, etc.



I agree that a certain amount of respect is appropriate. But demands for that can also go way too far.

 

[David Roll]

Back in the day before daytime running lights were common, the common funeral procession etiquette was to turn on your headlights. Even without any flags, etc, a constant stream of slow moving, tightly spaced cars driving down the road all with the headlights on was the common indicator of a funeral procession.

Exactly.



Here in NJ the funeral procession can not run lights, stop signs or break any other traffic law simply because of a police escort. Technically, I can't even run a light when responding to the ambulance building for a call, even though I use a blue light (emergency responder in NJ) to alert other traffic. The police in my town would never ticket me, but if I had an accident, I would be at fault. Even when I drive the ambulance running full lights and siren I would be at fault if I had an accident due to my crossing an intersection against the light. I always inform family that are travelling to the hospital to not follow the ambulance because some would try to follow me and speed or run through lights. A very bad idea.

 

[H D]

The way we do it down here has never seemed to be a problem. Sometimes inconvenient, but when everybody stops everything I think it shows a lot of respect and the only problem is maybe a slight inconvenience to somebody who thinks what they are in a rush to get to is more important than the loss of somebody else's beloved family member.



And no, I'm not talking about shutting down an entire 12 lane highway. I know that would not be practical or safe. But we all know city folks are heartless anyway.:cheeky:

 

[Thomas Rogers]

Hugh,



Or you can flip the coin and consider the other guy. Why should he or she be inconvenienced or delayed for a long line of cars lead by a hearse. It's not like the guy (or gal) in the lead car is going to be late to his own burial or anything.



As far as being "more important than the loss of someone's beloved family member", that's a judgement call. Maybe the dead guy was a tool. Maybe the guy cutting the line has to get to the hospital. You never really know...



Still, I wouldn't knowingly cut into a procession. It's simply rude. 'Nuff said.



TJR

 

[H D]

Ok, if it's a life or death situation, sure go ahead and do what is necessary. Otherwise, MY JUDGEMENT CALL is you're a moral indigent if you can't respect the loss of another human as more important than your next dollar making enterprise.

Still, I wouldn't knowingly cut into a procession. It's simply rude. 'Nuff said.

And for that, I judge you as a morally responsible person.



I normally assume the best of people but this scenario as described does not APPEAR to be a rush hour to the hospital. For that, I agree with Andy's assessment.

 

[EddieS'04]

Recently, I was behind a funneral proccesion on a 4 lane highway. They were doing 40mph in the #4 lane. The cycle cop was weaving back and forth so no one could pass. Even in lane #1. That went on for maybe 20 miles. Not to be disrespectful, but. The way the cop was hard weaving. I was hoping he would lay the bike down.

IMO, that was wrong. I dont find it disrepectful, on the highway, as long as you give them room when passing. I have passed proccesions on 2 lane highways. Usualy the trailing cop or car waves the traffic around.

In my City people including my self. Both directions of traffic will pull over and stop. Some even get out with their hat off or there hand over there heart. That is nice to see. I live in a Texas town of around 100k population.

When my Dad passed last year. We had a service type visitation the night before. My Mom chose to have the burial service at the cemetary pavilion. So we had the Hearse to meet us at the cemetary. Much simpular for all.