OT: Nanny vs Au pair vs Day care

[Bill V]

Travis, by the way, just so you know where I'm coming from--My wife is a kindergarten teacher, and we are expecting child #3 this August. At that time, Michelle will be taking at least one year, maybe two, off to raise them during that time. We can't afford to be on one salary, but we've decided to dip into our savings to make this happen. We have a number of things in our favor--including that her teacher's union contract allows a one-year child care leave during which your position is held for you, and the ability to take another year off if desired (although in that case, you're only assured a job in the district--they can't guarantee you the same school, class, etc. But Michelle's specialty is so rare that she'd be pretty assured of getting the same spot back anyway.) Also in our favor is that my insurance at my work will cover her without any change in rates, and by the end of the leave, the oldest kid will be in first grade (which means full-day school--like you, we have half-day kindergarten here). We seriously considered her going back and me staying home--but with me having the better benefits, and her currently getting burned out on little-kid-overload (40 kindergartners during the day, and then three kids--if you include me--all evening), it was clear that having her at home was the best approach.

 

[Bill V]

I have yet to meet a couple who absolutely had to work in order to prevent house foreclosure...etc.

Again, Q, just because you haven't met them in your vaccuum, doesn't mean they don't exist in large numbers. I know dozens of them. And I know that if either my wife or I takes off anything more than the couple of years we're planning, we'll be there too.

 

[Casey B]

I am a stay at home dad with my son and soon to be second child. When we were in Japan we had a nanny come to our house for 5 hours a day. I worked full time at night and also was the president of a sports official association. Basically the nanny gave me a chance to get some sleep. We paid her $100 per week and all she had to do was babysit. I was even in the home in case she needed me.



When we moved back to the states we knew that my wife was going to work a lot. We decided that I would stay at home, work on my degree and watch our son. The standard of living was instantly cut back to necessities. My wife doesn't make a lot of money, she's active duty. Medical is covered and so is housing. Those are big headaches that we don't have.



It's been almost 2 years and we are still living on one income and doing fine. Our son has the best care he will ever get besides my wife which is from me. Now that we have a second child coming, I know that I will be at home even longer. Even though I'll be finishing my BS this year, we will still prefer that I care for our kids. Why not?



I told my wife if she wants to stay at home I will work so she can. Her military career has been blessed, she made E-7 in 7 years. She just hit her 10 year anniversary and I'm content with staying at home. I think we will have more kids which I will probably be staying at home with.



We were determined that we wasn't going to put our son in daycare so we found a nanny. I made really good money but I gave little, if anything to my family. Now we are both glad that I stay at home for the sake of my son and my wife's. We are stronger than we have ever been.



I think you really have to look at the costs involved with care. A second working parent is more costly than it appears. Gas, time, clothing, food, etc... adds up when calculating a work schedule.



Don't know if it helps you but thought I would share our situation.

 

[Dreman]

My wife worked for a time, until we figured out she was basically paying for the things she needed to work! One of those things was our Sport Trac, which we got so she didn't have to worry about our old Contour breaking down on her somewhere, even though it was always as reliable as could be. Once we figured that out, we worked it out so she could stay home, and now she watches other people's kids once in a while.

 

[CountyMounty]

I will be Mr. Mom for three days out of the week the other two our son will go to daycare. Since I work a rotating shift but mostly nights we though we would be able to both work full time since my wife's hours are somewhat flexible as well. It just didn't work. We are both exhausted, I average maybe 4hrs of sleep a night, and something must change. One of us stopping work would not send us into foreclosure but it would certainly change our standard of living greatly and I dont mean we wouldn't be able to get a big screen TV. We would have to change a lot of things down to bare necessities. We both agreed that we wanted a family but we also both agreed that a career was very important to my wife. Things have changed from the days of all moms staying at home everyone must except that. There are a lot more factors that determine who and what your child grows up to be than just how many hours they spend with mom and dad. It would be great if we could just all make raising our children our only full time job but that is just not possible. I happen to know two couples that a very well off financial as they own their own businesses. Mom does not work at all and dad is basically just the boss and could be at home all the time. However, in both cases they spend less "family" time with their children then we do. They go away on vacations for a week at a time every other month and leave their children behind. All I am trying to say is that just because parents work full time does not mean their children will turn out bad. My parents both worked full time and from about the age of 12 or so when I got out of school everyday I would be doing something, anything in the outdoors alone or with friends and I dont me something bad. It kept me out of trouble and kept me happy. It would be great to live in the old days where the family lived and worked together on a farm but that is just not the way of the world now.

 

[WXMotorSports DecalsPartsAccs]

One of my friends has two small children. He stays home with them 4 days a week. The other three days he works 7am - 7pm and gets paid for 48 hours. His wife has the same schedule, different days of course, as he does.