Beating a child into submission is not teaching any kind of respect, it is simple control by FEAR
And the problem with Fear is? There is a common misunderstanding that FEAR and RESPECT are eqivalent. They are not. I did not fear my parents, I respected them. The worst thing in life to me growing up was to disappoint my parents. I could usually care less about a spanking or a grounding (or both), but disappointing my father especially was the worst punishment that I could have. He never trained me that his disappointment was "so bad", but it was something that my brothers and I all took note of.
I am a strict father and "fundamentalist". It is not my job to be my child's best friend. It is my job to teach my child about God, life, respect and all things human. I do not believe in spanking just to spank or because they questioned "why". I do believe in spanking as a general means of getting through to a child ....
Apply the Hand of Knowledge to the Seat of Learning
My child can always come to me with anything.... ANYTHING. If they tell me about something first, before I find out about in other fashions, the punishment will be far less than if they don't say anything or even worse lie about it. It worked for me growing up. I was usually given (1) chance to come clean about something. If I fouled up and didn't admit to it or completely deny or lie about it, the punishment was usually twice as bad.
Most of the time, If I fouled up and told my parents about it before they found out any other way, there was a talking to, maybe some sort of loss of privledges for a day or two when I was older, one or two swats when I was younger if any at all.
"Timeouts" (what a ridiculous notion) don't work on a 3 year old.
Biblically speaking:
Proverbs - Chapter 22:6
6. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 6:20-23
20. My son, obey your father's commands, and don't neglect your mother's teaching.
21. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck.
22. Wherever you walk, their counsel can lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up in the morning, they will advise you.
23. For these commands and this teaching are a lamp to light the way ahead of you. The correction of discipline is the way of life.
Ephesians - Chapter 6:1-4
1.Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
2. "Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise-
3."that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
4. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
Colossians - Chapter 3:20
20. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Proverbs 13:24
24. He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes
and finally:
Proverbs 29:15
"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame."