I read this a few hours back, decided not to respond at that time as I really did not know how to.
Paul, Laurie, I am very sorry for your loss. To have actually seen your child and then to lose your child has to be one of if not the hardest emotional things in life there is.
I am a firm believer in "things happen for a reason". In your case, I don't know how to apply that other than maybe there was or would have been a serious medical condition with your baby. God works in mysterious ways.
As far a donation goes, I also do the March of Dimes thing. So I am in....
Best of luck to you two.
The only suggestion I have for you is to take the time you need and deserve to grieve. Then stop trying so to speak. Enjoy each other and life. When it is time, it will happen.